The Stuff I Didn't Get To -- 4/1/09

GOP head Michael Steele lashes out

-Headline of the day-
"MIchael Steele chides GOP for infighting."

It was really the first paragraph that sold me on the funny here; "Embattled Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele lashed out at GOP infighting Tuesday and urged the party faithful -- some of whom have criticized his erratic statements -- to be more like him: 'unconventional, unpredictable... to do from time to time the unexpected.'"

If you're "lashing out" over squabbling, aren't you just becoming part of the problem? It's like setting fires to highlight the dangers of arson. And is the solution here really to become more erratic? That didn't work so well for John McCain.

Still, if Mike wants to throw a punch to end the Republican fist fight, I'm all for it. Maybe he can give John Boehner a poke in the nose and make him cry.

That's always fun. (Baltimore Sun)


-Guess what day it is?-
The social bookmarking site reddit.com has decided that it'd a super-funny prank to make their site look like a clone of fellow social bookmarking site Digg for April Fools Day. This is hilarious only if you've got a dog in the reddit vs. Digg fight.

Actually, no -- not even then.

Better is the fact that redditors feel the need to point out that they're not kidding about the stories they've submitted, which include:

Not an april fools joke: Attorney General Eric Holder voided Ted Stevens felony conviction

Not an April Fool's joke: Fox actually accuses Obama administration of trying to impose Islamic Sharia law in United States (video)

House GOP set to release another budget today. Do they even know what today is?

And my personal favorite:

The right wing is asking "At What Point Do People Revolt?" over, get this... a ban on phosphates in dishwasher detergent. As far as I can tell, this is not an April fools.

April Fools Day is starting to seem a little redundant; every day is April Fools Day. (reddit)


-Bonus HotD-
"Mom accused of daring teens to chug vodka."

BTW, I swear I'm not making this up for April Fools Day.

Kansas City mom Karen Christine Downs and friend Kelsee Guest face felony child-endangerment charges after "they provided liquor and beer to six 13- and 14-year-olds at a February birthday party for Downs' daughter."

According to the report, "Authorities say girls at the party told officers Downs offered them shots and told them not to tell their parents. While Downs allegedly offered money to the faster drinker, Guest is accused of pouring vodka shots."

"Parents who purchase alcohol for their kids -- and there are many -- should bear in mind that their job isn't to be cool in the eyes of their friends and their peers," reads an editorial in the Kansas City Star. "That's a hard sell in the best of circumstances. Their job is to be in charge and keep the kids safe from harm."

Paying kids to chug vodka is "cool?" I'm not sure I approve of the opinions of the KSS editorial board. (Raw Story)

GOP Takes 2nd Shot at an Alternative Budget

April Fools Day. The perfect day for Republicans to release their second try at an alternative budget. House Budget Committee Ranking Republican Paul Ryan explains their budget in the Wall Street Journal:

Instead of doubling the debt in five years, and tripling it in 10, the Republican budget curbs the explosion in spending called for by the president and his party. Our plan halts the borrow-and-spend philosophy that brought about today's economic problems, and puts a stop to heaping ever-growing debt on future generations -- and it does so by controlling spending, not by raising taxes. The greatest difference lies in the size of government our budgets achieve over time.

That's right, it's government spending that screwed the economy. All that stuff about a "housing bubble" and credit default swaps is a bunch of liberal hooey. The economy's tanking because the US government has been pumping way too much money into... well, the economy.

The second shot is just as wide of the mark as the first one. White House Office of Management and Budget communications director Kenneth Baer took a break from slapping his knee over this to make a statement on the GOP proposal.

"If you expected a GOP alternative to the failed policies of the past that got our country into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, then I have two words for you: April Fool’s," he said.

The GOP plan also includes top-heavy tax cuts, would scrap the stimulus entirely, and would institute a five-year spending freeze -- because, remember, all that government spending is what's screwed up the economy. They should call it the Herbert Hoover Memorial Budget Plan.

I've pointed out before that Republicans don't have to produce a viable alternative, because any plan they come up with won't go anywhere anyway. All they need to do is produce something for PR purposes. But you would've expected them to at least try to come up with something that makes some sort of sense.

Griper Blade: Obama, Hitler Youth, and April Fools

Here it is, the end of America, democracy's doom. Barack Obama, currently conspiring overseas with European socialists to destroy capitalism, will come home to find a bill on his desk that creates a fascist youth corps. Woe be unto the republic.

Associated Press:

Tens of thousands of Americans, from teenagers to baby boomers, soon will get a fresh chance to lend a helping hand in a time of need.

The House voted 275-149 Tuesday for a $5.7 billion bill that triples positions in the Clinton-era AmeriCorps program, its largest expansion since the agency's creation in 1993, and establishes a fund to help nonprofit organizations recruit and manage more volunteers. AmeriCorps offers a range of volunteer opportunities including housing construction, youth outreach, disaster response and caring for the elderly.

Congress was sending the bill to President Barack Obama, who often cites his years as a Chicago community organizer for giving him his political start. Obama has made national service programs a high priority. His budget proposal calls for more than $1.1 billion for the programs, an increase of more than $210 million.

"I call on all Americans to stand up and do what they can to serve their communities, shape our history and enrich both their own lives and the lives of others across this country," Obama said in a statement.

Doom!...

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