President Bush is sitting in the Oval Office when an aide comes in to give the morning briefing.
"Let's see," the aide says, "The price of oil's skyrocketing, you've got a call with the Swedish ambassador later today, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq yesterday..."
"Oh my God," Bush wails, burying his face in his hands. "This is awful!" It takes him a second to notice that no one else seems particularly shocked by the news.
"Wait a second," he says, "Is a Brazilian more or less than a million?"
That Bush isn't very smart is pretty much a given. Americans' first clue was in his 2000 campaign, when he denied putting "subliminable" messages in a campaign ad. Bush himself admitted that he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box, but assured everyone that he'd surround himself with America's finest minds. The media, for the most part, treated this news with a big "Yay!" and I was left as pretty much the only person I knew who was asking why this was good news. After all, the dope would be the one deciding which skulls America's finest minds resided in.
Needless to say, I didn't have a lot of confidence. Turns out my lack of confidence was not misplaced. "The Decider" turned out to be really lousy at deciding.
America's finest minds turned out to be Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, Karl Rove, and Condoleezza Rice. About the only pick he got close to right was Colin Powell -- and he didn't last long.
Later, of course, we found out that it was Dick Cheney who was doing all the deciding, with his first decision being that the perfect Vice Presidential candidate would be some fella named Dick Cheney...
[CLICK TO READ FULL POST]
