Griper Blade: Wearing the "Green" Brand

There are positions a politician takes because they believe in them and positions they take because they're trendy. A presidential candidate not only needs to take the pulse of the nation, but needs to get his heart beating in unison with it. If you can't manage to regulate your heartbeat over an issue the electorate cares about, you can at least pretend to give a damn and hope the chumps will buy it.

This is John McCain's position on the environment and climate. He doesn't really give a damn either way, but he knows you do, so Baghdad Johnny's the "green" Republican. It's always been a weird coincidence to me that the electoral map puts the states the GOP candidate wins in red, since red -- if you look at a color wheel -- is pretty much the opposite of green. It's fitting for a party of flat earthers who still doubt global warming. A recent poll found that 74% of Republican lawmakers in Washington doubt that global warming has a human cause. Of course, this is the party that's home to creationists. Science isn't really their strong suit, because knowledge is elitist -- real Americans are ignorant as the day is long and damned proud of it, thank you very much. For the Republican party, the word "patriot" is synonymous with "has all the brains of a sack of hammers." If you're dumb, that's great. If you're willing to become dumber, you're a fine American. Just put on the stupid little flag pin and repeat after Rush.

Given how his party celebrates ignorance as an American value, while getting what little science they allow from industry lobbyists, we have good reason to doubt John McCain's verdancy. After all, how green can you possibly be when you surround yourself with Reds? The answer is "not very." When the vast majority of the people you talk to on a daily basis doubt climate science, it's pretty hard to be fully informed on the issue...

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