Griper Blade: How to Become a Real Christian

Right wing Evangelical blowhard James Dobson will not ever vote for John McCain -- never. He's made that clear in the past. As a matter of principle, Dobson can't bring himself to vote for a man who's not as Bible-bangin' crazy as he is. After all, it says right there in the Bible that... Umm... Well...

OK, so the word "vote" doesn't show up in the Bible -- but neither does the word "abortion" and we all know how Jesus felt about that. Sure, abortion was a common practice in Israel in Jesus' time, he never said anything about it, but we know he was against it because... Umm... Well...

Never mind about that. Faith is about believing stuff, not knowing stuff. If you believe something hard enough and long enough, faith makes it 100% true. This is why Creationism is so true, despite the fact that all the evidence is against it. You can choose what's true, the religious right believes, and your faith magically transforms the universe to fit your beliefs. At least, that's the way it's supposed to work. God, after all, works in mysterious ways and sometimes refuses to rebuild the reality to fit your beliefs...

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