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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Stuff I Didn't Get To -- 6/24/09

Still from Sanford & Son
Pictured l. to r.: Sanford, Gov. of SC; son Lamont, noted dummy

-Headline of the day-
"I've been unfaithful to my wife, Sanford admits."

Remember S. Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford? He's the guy who whose unexplained absence for days on end was a big mystery until it turned out that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail with his junk hanging out. The Appalachian Trail must be freakin' amazing, because Sanford now says he wound up in Argentina where he had an affair with one of the steak-eating beauties they've got down there.

"I've been unfaithful to my wife," Mark said at a press conference. "I developed a relationship with... a dear, dear friend from Argentina. It began very innocently, as I suspect these things do. In the last year, it developed into something much more than that."

"I spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina," he said, explaining that he'd broken off the affair. He's also resigned -- from his position as chair of the Republican Governors' Association, which no one gives a damn about anyway. He's keeping his day job though.

And Sanford '12? Yeah, that's over. (Raw Story)

-Twitterverse atwitter-
A few reactions to Sanford's affair:

Obama takes his girls out for custard on Father's Day; Sanford ditches his kids to scream "Who's your daddy?" with mistress

Push for Gay Marriage has already cost marriages of Sanford & Ensign. Stop the insanity

I'm just waiting for Mark Sanford to show up with a backwards "B" scratched onto his cheek.

Breaking News: Sanford said to have bought red sports car, visited Hair Club for Men and obtained prescription for Viagra

GOP Gov Sanford admits that the Appalachian Trail isn't in Argentina. Said his wife knew

Gov. Sanford: "marriage should only be between a man, a woman, and another woman from Argentina."

And my favorite:

I was most surprised when Sanford apologized for calling his son Lamont a ‘dummy’ all those years.

This is the big one! I'm comin' 'Lizbeth! (Twitter Search)

-He also resigned from the GOP-
At least, if you check FOX News:

FOX screengrab showing 'SC GOV MARK SANFORD (D)'

He's a Democrat now and that's why he had an affair -- they're all weirdos, like Clinton.

FOX News: They report, you get confused. (Daily Kos)


Anonymous said...

"...noted dummy"


I can't believe that big dummy spilled his guts in that manner, on that occasion.

He disappears, during Father's day, and returns to tell his people an animated story of a land far away. Where the women are plentiful and willing to have non-missionary sex with the lights on with rich Americans!

A land where you can disappear for days on end in hammocks made from shaved and tanned vaginas.

...Getting lost in hot music and dancing....the exotic local cuisine of soymilk, shredded wheat, and cheeseburgers....and a vagina much younger and tanner and than my wife's bitter and weathered echoe chamber.

Where there's awe-inspiring sunsets every morning and no federal Stimulus plans.

This ArGenTiNa he spoke of brings promise of vaginas that don't know and don't care that you're a douche who leaves your sox on the floor and destroys your life for some pussy.

Talk about a Republican outsourcing another American job....

Anonymous said...

And another thing, right now in America, we're talking about real health care reform, diplomacy with Iran, wallstreet regulation, strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan, torture, energy and climate policy,....and these fucking morons are preoccupied with blackmailing tattletales, adulterous liasons, stealing a senate seat in Minnesota, tea parties, et cetera....

These are the same fools obstructing life and death issues facing America?!

That's the REAL tragedy here.

Wisco said...

-Talk about a Republican outsourcing another American job...-

Wish I'd thought of that.

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