News Roundup for 10/15/09

Destroying America's youth

-Headline of the day-
"7-Eleven targeted for selling 'Simpsons porn.'"

Yeah, it's come to this. According to the report, "A conservative pro-family group is slamming 7-Eleven for choosing to stock the November issue of Playboy, which will feature cartoon character Marge Simpson on the cover." You remember that story, right?

"Most American dads know the dangers that porn represents to young males," American Family Association Special Projects Director Randy Sharp said in a press release. "It's irresponsible of 7-Eleven to display porn in front of boys who pop into 7-11s for a hot dog or a Slurpee." Actually, eating a fossilized hot dog out of one of those rolly-heater-things is probably a lot more irresponsible.

Someone want to explain to me why it's the worst thing in the world if it's a yellow cartoon lady, but the real women who've been on the cover of these things for years haven't been worth commenting on?

Sharp's up to that question. "The cover will create the kind of curiosity that can easily lead [children] into an addictive porn habit," he says. "This is not what American families want to see in their neighborhood convenience store." First I've heards of it. The vibe I was getting from American families about this is that they could really give a shit either way.

Of course, there's always the slim chance that a nudie magazine is getting a little press for a novelty edition and Sharp's Stick Up The Butt Coalition sees an opportunity to capitalize on it to get their organization's name in the papers. But that'd be so cynical; they're just thinking of the children.

Won't someone please think of the children? (Raw Story)

-Cartoon TIme with Mark Fiore-
Want to get things done? Trying giving out preemptive prizes!


Click for animation

Is it just me or is that an amazingly articulate baby? (San Francisco Gate, for some reason)


-And here's today's dose of stupid-
Jack Price is in a coma after a beating by two thugs in NYC. Hospitalized with a fractured jaw and ribs, and a lacerated spleen, Price was the victim of gaybashing. And his story proves that hate crimes legislation doesn't need to be extended to gays and lesbians, because it's just so awful.

Where does this non-logic come from? The Concerned Women for America, a religious right group. In this case, the Concerned Woman in question is some lady named Ken Irvin and Ken's delicate female sensabilities were assaulted by the story.

"[F]or some, the mere fact of broken bones and a lacerated spleen wasn’t worthy of outrage. Oh no. What was truly outrageous about this unthinkable crime, and what seems to some to be more horrific than broken bones and life-threatening injuries is that -- horror upon horror!! -- the assailants hurled 'anti-gay slurs' at the object of their torment," Irvin writes. "C'mon people. Can you seriously look me in the face and tell me that these hoodlums should get a harsher sentence for calling Jack Price nasty names while they beat him? If so, you're also saying that it’s okay with you if they had kept their mouths shut while beating him and got away with a lighter sentence. Preposterous."

What's preposterous is believing this crime would've happened at all if it weren't for the type of homophobia fine, upstanding Concerned Women like Kenneth here try to excuse. According to Huffington Post, "Police say the two suspects taunted Price and yelled anti-gay slurs while he was in the store early Friday. They attacked him outside, not far from his home in the middle-class Queens neighborhood of College Point." Being gay wasn't some tertiary concern to his assailants, it was their primary concern and the motivation for the crime!

Do they deserve whatever they get? Yeah. Does Irvin's argument make a damned bit of sense? No.

"Homosexual or not, who really cares?" Ms. Kenneth asks.

I think the assholes who tried to beat him to death did, you dipshit. (Concerned Women for America, via Right Wing Watch)