News Roundup for 10/4/09

The Heavyweight champion of Crazypants

-Headline of the day-
"Bachmann: Healthcare vote is 'Super Bowl of freedom.'"

OK, bad metaphor. But she followed it up with a worse metaphor; that healthcare reform is the "crown jewel of socialism" -- because socialism and monarchy just go hand in hand, I guess. Appearing on Fox and Friends, a show that's such amazing bullshit that you wish there was a stronger word for bullshit, Shelly said she'd hold a big rally of about a trillion or two winguts Thursday to take away the Stanley Cup of Obama's Marxist whatever.

"We're asking people to go into the office buildings... to find their members of Congress and tell them, 'Look, you have to vote no,'" she said. "We don't have the votes to stop this, but the American people do." I'm sure that'll go well; a bunch of FOX-addled wingnuts trying to wander the halls of Congress so they can yell at congresscritters. There won't be any security problems with that at all.

I'm sure that once all the fires have been put out and the dead have been buried, Shelly will be more than happy to take responsibility for it all. (The Hill)


-Call him "Slow Joe" Wilson-
Remember that guy in a Captain America costume who shouted "You lie!" at Barack Obama and doomed his presidency? Yeah, he's back. Seems that Barack Obama is fighting some sort of swine flu or bacon fever or pork chop rabies or something and there isn't enough vaccine for everyone, so somebody's going to have to just die. Tough break for you, buddy, but you've got to remember that there's no "I" in "team." Joe knows who to blame for your demise.

"The current administration is solely responsible. They can’t blame this on any prior administration," Slow Joe says. "This is the responsibility of the current administration. They’ve put the lives of Americans at risk."

That's right, Barack HUSSEIN Obama has no one to blame but his own terr'ist-loving, flu-coddling self. Well, no one except people like Wilson -- i.e., Republicans.

According to the report, "Wilson joined 95% of Republicans and voted against [a supplementary appropriations] bill, which contained special funding to combat H1N1 both domestically and internationally."

So, to sum up, Joe's blaming Obama for not having enough of the vaccine that he voted against. I think maybe Joe Wilson's got the bacon rabies. (Alan Colmes' Liberaland)


-Bonus HotD-
"Rep. Joe 'You lie!' Wilson: I needed to look up 'dithering' in the dictionary, but I still agree with Cheney."

See, this is why I call him "Slow Joe" Wilson. (Think Progress)


-Extra bonus HotD-
"Palin to promote her book with multiple FOX News interviews: 'Variety is the spice of life.'"

Former Queen of Santa's Village, Sarah Palin, announced her plans to hawk her book -- Remembering Stuff I Quit in the Middle of: The Sarah Palin Story -- on the teevee machine and other media outlets.

"We're in the process of arranging interviews with local and national media," Sarah spakled. "An interview with Oprah Winfrey is already scheduled, and I'm also hoping to have the opportunity to talk with Bill O'Reilly, Barbara Walters, Sean Hannity, Greta Van Susteren, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Laura Ingraham, Dennis Miller, Tammy Bruce, and others, including local Alaska personalities Bob & Mark and Eddie Burke. (Variety is the spice of life!)"

I guess the appearances on Oprah's Scream at Me and I'll Give You a Car! and Baba Wawa's Ladies All Talk at the Same Time show counts as "variety." (Think Progress)