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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Stories to Watch: 12/20/11

Failed to make fudge today. It's like the only thing I have absolutely no talent for cooking. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm done trying. You win fudge. Now here's the news...

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker doesn't have the guts to put his new first amendment curbs on protests to the test.

Iowa religious nutjob Bob Vander Plaats urged Michele Bachmann to drop out, I guess because she was hurting Rick Santorum's chances. Newsflash for Vander Plaats: Rick Santorum is the one hurting Rick Santorum's chances. Then again Bob and the Family Leader are completely insane.

Today proves that John Boehner isn't blessed with leadership skills. Want a payroll tax cut extension to help you get through the holidays? OK, here's a bust of Winston Churchill. Close enough.

Bloomberg News gives the 1% a chance to tell their side of the story -- a chance they promptly blow by being whiny, bitchy, pissy, and hopelessly out of touch. In short, every bit the fat-cat stereotype you envision when you think of them. I'll bet they were chomping on cigars. Check out Felix Salmon's take on the piece.

Tim Tebow's message for gay teens considering suicide; it does not get better. Like 99% of hardcore evangelicals, Tebow is an ass.

Rocker Jon Bon Jovi shares a trait with Schrödinger's cat; he is both dead and alive.

Finally, this is a real headline: "Arrested man dies from eating cocaine hidden in brother’s butt." Happy Holidays, everyone!

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