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Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Stories to Watch: 7/9/13

Rick Perry says he won't run for reelection as Governor of Texas. Word is, he's retiring to prepare for a presidential run -- I suppose because he didn't make a big enough ass of himself the last time.

The chance of House Republicans passing the senate immigration reform bill -- or any immigration bill at all -- are rapidly approaching slim to none. The big Republican idea now is to embrace their racism, give Latino voters the finger, and openly become -- as brazenly as you please -- the white people's party. The demographic math hates this strategy, but math is a science and you know how Republicans feel about that. They march cheerfully and stupidly to their doom.

Somewhat related: as far as Senate leadership is concerned, Marco Rubio's big abortion timewaster is already dead. This is really bad news for Thirsty McGulperton, as he's rapidly becoming a has-been with GOP voters because of his immigration reform work. He desperately needs a heroically doomed conservative cause to distract the dopes.

Chuck Todd -- the quintessential inflicter of "savvy Washington insider" journalism -- comes to realize that Republicans are all politics, no governing these days. Todd seems to think in terms of the perpetual campaign, so when things even get too much for him, they're way around the bend.

A truly massive hunger strike hits California's prison system.

More fun from Wisconsin's Scott "Ultrasound" Walker: he's hired mercenaries to protect a mining project. Why would he do that? Because almost no one in the area wants it.

According to one hedge fund dickweed, homeless shelters cause homelessness. You know, the same way cancer wards cause cancer, fire departments cause fires, and grade school English classes cause illiteracy. Wall Street types really are America's worst pricks.

An unnamed Texas man is today's Second Amendment Hero. While trying to shoot his ex-girlfriend with a shotgun, he managed to shoot his current girlfriend with a shotgun. I'm sure one of them was some sort of tyrant who was planning to Communism, because we know that an irresponsible gun owner is so very, very rare.

I had no idea the FISA court was so poorly designed. Currently, the 11 FISA judges are appointed by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court -- who at this moment happens to be the supremely politically-biased John Roberts. This means that the FISA court is being loaded up with rightwing nutjobs. Rep. Steven Cohen has a remedy.

Finally, House GOP drop food stamps from the Farm Bill. It's a really lousy idea.

[cartoon via McClatchy Newspapers]

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