News Roundup for 10/25/11

Pat Robertson

Headline of the Day-
"Even Pat Robertson Thinks Republican Voters Are Too Extreme."

Yikes! Pat Robertson -- the man who said that Methodists and Presbyterians are the antichrist, who agreed with Jerry Falwell that "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union, and the People For the American Way" were responsible for 9/11, who claimed that a massive earthquake was the Haitians' own damned fault for being Satan worshipers, and who said that Scotland was a "dark land" ruled by the Homosexual Menace -- thinks GOP voters are too extreme. And they better listen to him, because he could kick all of their asses -- he can leg press a literal ton!

"Those people in the Republican primary have got to lay off of this stuff," Pat said on his TV show, Drinking Paint for Jesus. "They’re forcing their leaders, the frontrunners, into positions that will mean they lose the general election. Now whether this did it to Cain I don’t know, but nevertheless, you appeal to the narrow base and they’ll applaud the daylights out of what you’re saying and then you hit the general election and they say ‘no way’ and then the Democrat, whoever it is, is going to just play these statements to the hilt. They’ve got to stop this! It’s just so counterproductive!"

"Well, if they want to lose, this is the game for losers," he went on.

It was a rare moment of clarity for Pat, who then slipped back into dementia and tried to filet an audience member, apparently believing he was hosting a cooking show. (Right Wing Watch, with video)


-Putting the 'geniuses' in 'evil geniuses'-
A can't-lose move by Koch & Koch.


Click for full comic

And that's just the first step. Next, they'll corner the market on vuvuzelas and giant street puppets. (GoComics)


-Bonus HotD-
"After Calling It ‘A Good Issue To Keep Alive,’ Perry Says Birther Conspiracy Is ‘One Of The Biggest Distractions.'"

Obvious conclusion: Perry's rapidly deteriorating basketcase of a campaign really needs a good distraction. (ThinkProgress, with video)

News Roundup for 3/22/11

Return of the Oil Monster

-Headline of the day-
"Oil Spill Washes Up On Louisiana Coast As New Drilling Authorized."

According to the report, "emulsified oil, oil mousse and tar balls from an unknown source were washing up on beaches from Grand Isle to West Timbalier Island along the Gulf of Mexico, a stretch of about 30 miles." Wait, "oil mousse" is a thing?

This follows an earlier report that what appeared to be an oil plume -- coincidentally 30 miles long -- was spotted in the Gulf of Mexico. But don't worry, said the Coast Guard, it was just "goop" kicked up by dredging and that no one should worry about it. They say they tested the plume and found "only trace amounts of petroleum that were well below the state of Louisiana's standard for clean water."

"Goop" is apparently also a thing.

So, is it oil or isn't it? If it isn't, then where did all this oil mousse come from?

Whatever... Spill baby, spill! (ThinkProgress)


-Like we don't have enough to worry about-
Super-ultra-mega-church pastor and general all-around rightwing nutjob Rick Joyner has a warning for America -- the earthquake in Japan will "unleash demonic Nazism" on us.

See, it works like this: "the demonic principalities responsible for Nazism in Germany were going to attempt to take over the United States and, according to the prophetic visions of Joyner and others, it would happen amid a massive economic collapse that would start with an earthquake in Japan. As such, given the devastation caused by this earthquake, Japan will need to call in the American debt to rebuild their nation, unleashing an economic catastrophe in the US and thereby opening the door for this demonic Nazi force to take root."

Yeah, absolutely none of that made any damned sense to me, either. But don't worry, when none of this stuff actually happens, his flock won't notice. Followers of con men never do. (Right Wing Watch, with video)


-Bonus HotD-
"Sexism Is Alive And Well At National Review."

And that's the least surprising item of the day... (Media Matters)