He wouldn't have won anyway
-More fun with mugshots-
Steven S. Cole, a volunteer firefighter, was arrested at Oak Park in Mason, OH. Wearing 'a blond wig, pink flip-flops and a red-black-and-white striped bikini with the top filled out by tan water balloons,' Cole told officers he was on his way to perform as a female impersonator in a Dayton bar's contest. The prize was $10,000.
Fortunately for Cole, there's nothing illegal about unconvincingly dressing as a woman. Unfortunately for Cole, public drunkeness and DUI are crimes. Crimes he's been charged with. His blood alcohol registered 0.174 -- Ohio's limit is 0.08. Soking Gun has more of the mugshots that will no doubt embarrass Cole for decades to come. (AP)
-Yeah, but did he wash his hands?-
A London dentist was found guilty thursday of pissing in his surgery sink and using his dental tools to clean his fingernails and ears. A dental nurse who'd worked with Alan Hutchinson for 16 years described a typical event to a tribunal, "He was tucking something into his trousers before zipping them up hastily. I walked over and I was behind him. He moved to the left and I could smell urine." (Reuters)
-Bush wins fair and square (for once) and FOX covers it up-
The FOX affiliate for Phoenix, AZ -- FOX 10 -- ran a poll on April Fools Day asking viewers who was 'the most foolish American.' These were the results:
The winner was... Britney Spears with 33% of the vote, followed by Paris Hilton with 12%. Dead last was President George Dubya with, um... 40%? (Crooks and Liars)
