Two Armies of One
-Serving in the Cheech and Chong Unit-
An NBC affiliate in San Antonio, TX -- WOAI -- ran a sting on an Army recruiting station and found that new recruits were being coached on beating drug tests. One recruiter even told a would-be recruit that if they failed a drug test, they'd just take it again when they thought they'd be able to pass. Give some whacked out junkie a rifle and send them to Iraq -- great idea.
Here's the thing, this is the sort of thing that prime time news programs used to do -- investigative reporting used to mean investigating stuff that matters. What's the subject of the next Dateline NBC? Quote: "Dennis Murphy updates his September 2006 report on Justin Barber, a man accused of killing his wife, April, on a moonlit beach walk and then shooting himself to cover up the crime." Sounds like an episode of Matlock. The local stations are doing a better job than the network news division. Pathetic. (WBIR, via Think Progress)
-Need me to check under the hood, ma'am?-
A gas station attendant in Germany got a surprise when a customer pulled up for gas. "I went out and saw this woman, completely naked, sitting behind the wheel," Jan Matthausen said. "She wound down the window, leaned out and asked me to fill up her tank. I called the police straight away." Police ran a breath test on the unnamed woman and she scored seven times the limit. Once again, putting "drunk naked police" into Google News pays off... (Ananova.com)
-Look with your eyes, not with your hands-
The Ohio House has passed a bill barring strip club patrons from touching the dancers, effectively making the lap dance illegal. The bill was backed by a bunch of christian nuts, Citizens for Community Values, and would also ban full nudity at clubs after midnight. It's hard to see what purpose either proposal serves -- it's all kind of arbitrary. But, if the bill passes in the Senate and is signed by the governor, it'll be illegal to touch a naked stripper after midnight in Ohio. In related news, the Ohio chamber predicts that there will never, ever be a convention or bachelor party in Ohio again if the bill passes. (AP)
