The Scourge of Staffordshire
-Beware the wrath of Cap'n Morgan-
Plans for 6 year old Morgan Smith's pirate themed birthday party have run afoul of Stone, Staffordshire bureaucracy. Among the plastic cutlasses, eyepatches, and kids yelling 'Yar!' would've been a Jolly Roger flying from the family's flagpole. I say 'would've been,' because the town council ruled the pirate flag would be 'unneighborly.' According to the report, "[Smith's parents] must apply for planning permission at a cost of £75" and "an assessment of the 5ft by 4ft flag's 'impact' on the surrounding area of Stone, Staffordshire, [would have to] be undertaken" before the flag could be flown.
Asked for comment, Smith told a reporter, "When the councilmen's women be weeping for them, when their homes be aflame, when their grinning skulls hang from the bow of me black ship, then I be 'unneighborly.'" (Daily Mail)
-Headline of the day-
"Md. court puts privacy limits on warrantless body searches," with subheader, "Police reached in shorts to gather drug evidence." OK, 'subheader of the day' didn't sound as good. (Baltimore Sun)
-Next up, 'Go Tell Aunt Rhodie'-
1,683 people set some sort of a record today by getting together in Kansas City, KS to play Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water. The gathering, a radio stunt by KYYS morning radio host Tanna Guthrie, will make the Guinness Book of World Records. The song was chosen 'because it's one of the first songs many guitarists learn.' Oddsmakers calculate there was a 100% chance some asshole would yell, "Play Freebird!" (AP)
-Bonus headline of the day-
"Naked Lindsay man had drugs in his pockets." Wait a minute, what pockets? (Peterborough Examiner (Ontario, CA))
