Secret CIA assets revealed
-That explains everything-
The New Republic's Michael Crowley notes that roughly one in four americans approve of the way Bush is doing his job. He also points out that one in four believe "The Second Coming will occur this year," "The Jews are responsible for Jesus's death," and "[S]ome of the unidentified flying objects that have been reported are really space vehicles from other civilization."
I've got one of my own. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older -- about one in four adults -- suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year." How much you want to bet that these are all the same one in every four? (The New Republic)
-Aboreal intelligence-
Iranian police have apprehended 14 spies equipped with some sort of spy gadgetry, according to the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA). According to the report, "The IRNA said that the squirrels" -- that's right, squirrels -- "were kitted out by foreign intelligence services -- but were captured two weeks ago by police officers."
OK, so they're on to our Secret Squirrels. We still have the Morroco Moles. (Ananova)
-Truth in advertising-
Beverage giant PepsiCo Inc. has announced it will add wording to it's bottled water labels to indicate it's basically tap water. According to the report, "[T]he world's No. 2 beverage company will include the words 'Public Water Source' on Aquafina labels."
No word on whether PepsiCo will admit that Mountain Dew comes out of a giant space worm's butt...
...but I suppose there's always hope. (Reuters)
