Choo-Choo! Here comes another trainload of drunks
-We don't call it 'Mad City' for nuthin'-
I love it when the home of my media empire makes the roundup. Police in Madison, WI are looking for a rogue bus driver after an incident sunday involving a case of mistaken identity. The driver, Kris Burke, was angry that someone had pissed inside his bus -- and who can blame him? He thought he knew who did it, but it turns out that he was tragically wrong.
A passenger told him that Michael Cooper, who had taken the bus to pick up some things at a drug store, had been the pisser. This was bad intelligence. The bus followed its route and found Cooper waiting for the return trip. Burke refused to allow Cooper back on the bus and that's when things turned weird. As the bus began to move away from the curb, Cooper grabbed the mirror and hung on it, hoping the driver would stop. It was a bad idea because Burke had his own bad plan -- not to stop. Once the bus got going, he was moving too fast to jump off.
According to the report, Cooper "spent 73 seconds Sunday hanging onto the sideview mirror of the bus as it sped up to 35 mph for a half-mile stretch on a route in the middle of the city." He finally jumped off when the bus stopped for a light. During his ride, he lost his wallet and the stuff he'd left at the bus stop was stolen. As of this posting, Burke is still at large. (AP)
-Does your child look too human?-
A story at Salon points us to a digital photo retouching service that does some seriously freaky work. Check out this human rights abuse from Pageant Photo Retouching:
Click on the image to get a better idea of just how insane that retouch is. You really have to see it fullsized to grasp the enormity of this crime. If you think your baby doesn't look enough like a freaky, glass-eyed demon doll, send your photos to Pageant Photo Retouching. (Salon)
-My kind of marketing scheme-
If your child does look like a freaky, glass-eyed demon doll, you might consider taking a ride on Amtrak. Nowhere in particular, just get on the train. Amtrak is now offering passengers a hundred bucks worth of free booze on some overnight trains.
Not everyone thinks it's a good idea, although they don't seem to have put a lot of thought into their criticism. "This sounds like a lot of credit toward possible overindulging," said Mother Against Drunk Drivers spokeswoman Misty Moyse, who seems to have a weak grasp of this whole 'travelling by train' concept. It's not like you're driving anywhere, so you can get as hammered as you want. (AP)
