Workin' hard or hardly workin'?
-Headline of the day-
"GOP congressmen quit because of five-day work week." One GOP rep says that the reason that 9 Republican congress critters have announced they won't seek reelection is because Democrats expect them to work and stuff.
According to Politico, "Rep. Ray LaHood (R-Ill.), 61, one of those who announced he's packing it in, said that the Democrats' new five-day workweek made traveling back home that much more difficult."
Think Progress adds, "In Dec. 2006, Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) also griped about having to work five days each week, stating, "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says.'"
Let me translate that to real-world for you; "WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" (Think Progress)
-You go faster that way-
It was just an average night out for Stacey Nelton of East Peoria, IL. You know, the kind of night that ends with you charged with "driving under the influence of alcohol, aggravated battery, aggravated fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, criminal trespass, driving on the shoulder and two counts each of speeding and improper lane usage."
It all started innocently enough, with Nelton getting hammered, stripping naked in a bar, starting a fight with two customers, and slapping the bartender. Apparently having the the presence of mind to realize that bars have phones and bartenders call cops on slaphappy, naked drunks, she then fled the scene in a minivan. Sherrif's deputies just missed her when they responded to the call.
The fleeing vehicle was quickly spotted and a chase ensued, reaching speeds of 96 mph. Police caught her after her van got hung up on a cement parking block in a church lot -- somewhere along the line, Nelton managed to take care of some of the nudity. "Police used a Taser on Nelton," according to the report, "Who was not wearing any clothes from her waist down, when she refused to get out of the vehicle." Half-naked drunk drivin' -- that there's a taserin'.
Sadly, no mugshot is available. (Peoria Journal Star)
-Poor little rich kid-
The heir to the tabloid National Enquirer is weird. I don't know how else to put it. In a fight over NE founder Generoso Pope Jr.'s $418 million fortune, certain facts have come to light -- like the fact that son Paul Pope is weird. Really weird.
"Paul spikes the drinks of new bodyguards ... with Valium. Paul wants to see how they handle themselves under duress. One guy gets so loaded that he pulls out a gun at a bar and sticks it in the ear of a bartender," the report tells us. Pope considers this a "practical joke." In another example, Pope paid "one bodyguard $1,000 to swim across a Florida waterway, then punched him in the face after the guard arrives back on shore." He "cut the hair off a model during a drunken stupor." Seriously, the guy's just a bucket of chuckles.
You know what would be really funny? If this asshole lost every dime. His battle is with his mother, Lois, who wants to "build a memorial in Washington, D.C., honoring disabled vets." Go Lois, go. (FishbowlNY)
