A scenario Japan is totally unprepared for
-What's the Japanese word for "goofy?"-
That word would be "baka," which has to be the word of the day in Japan. Japanese Defense Minister Shigeru Ishiba worries that his nation's pacifist constitution would make it illegal to defend Japan against UFOs.
Seriously.
"There are no grounds for us to deny that there are unidentified flying objects (UFOs) and some life-form that controls them," Ishiba told reporters. Then -- perhaps as the result of some bet or dare -- he brought Godzilla into the conversation. According to the report, Ishiba "noted that Japan deployed its military against Godzilla in the classic monster movie."
"Few discussions have been made on what the legal grounds were for that," the Defense Minister said.
Not surprisingly, this hasn't been received as a real compelling argument. For one, it's completely nuts. For another, Godzilla actually saved Japan on more than one occassion.
Besides, all you have to do is keep overzealous TV reporters from poking around on Monster Island and you won't have any problems. You'd think the Japanese Defense Minister would know that... (AFP)
-Headline of the day-
"Midnight mass at 8pm to fool drunks." According to the report, "Midnight Mass will be held early in the evening at churches across the [UK] this Christmas to stop drunks disrupting the services." Apparently, this has been a problem in the past. I don't see the attraction in the phrase, "Let's get hammered and go to Mass," but there ya go.
"A lot of people, having been disgorged from the pub, were attracted by the light and the music and used to disrupt proceedings," said Fr James O'Keefe, a parish priest in Newcastle Upon Tyne.
Fr Dennis Connor of Liverpool agrees. "Older people are really scared of meeting teenagers and a few who give them trouble -- people coming out of pubs and so on."
Talk about your war on Christmas. Bill O'Reilly could not be reached for comment. (Telegraph)
-Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach-
Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy seems pretty much par for the course for her family. Sister Britney's meltdown into Michael Jackson-level public madness was big news a while back -- shaved head and all. And now that 16 year old Jamie Lynn is pregnant, you've got to wonder what happened to these kids that made them turn out this way.
Unfortunately, we may never know. Jamie Lynn's new teen-mommie gig has put a damper on her mother's book deal. Lynn Spears' had planned to publish a book for Thomas Nelson, described as a "Christian publisher," for a book on -- wait for it -- parenting.
You'd think Britney alone would've queered that deal.
"We have postponed the book indefinitely," a spokesperson for the publisher said. Seems to me that the book's probably still salvageable. Just retitle it "How to Screw Up Your Kid" and market it as stuff you shouldn't do.
Looked at in the right light, it'd be invaluable. (Boston Herald)
