The Stuff I Didn't Get To -- 6/6/08

Dick Cheney deals with a wussypants European

-Headline of the day-
"Europeans View America As A ‘Force For Evil’ Under Bush."

Not nastiness. Not unpleasant things. Not even craziness. But pure, unadulterated evil -- eee-vil!

A Daily Telegraph poll taken in Europe asked respondents if “the United States is overall a force for good or force for evil in today’s world." From the headline, you can guess how most answered.

Maybe this explains the Republican Party's '08 motto; "Good! Your hate makes you powerful, Anakin!" (Think Progress)

-Hope you don't have any plans-
The world will end in a nuclear fireball about a week from now, on Thursday, June 12, say those in the know. And those in the know belong to a doomsday cult led by Yisrayl ‘Buffalo Bill’ Hawkins of Abilene, Texas.

According to the report, "Hundreds of truck trailers have been loaded with food and water on the group’s 44-acre compound, in preparation for the coming war." Clearly, the end times are nigh.

A few naysayers are busy with their saying of nay and cast doubt on the wise counsel of the modern-day prophet. "Everything that he preaches has to do with people buying something," says former cult member David Als.

Maybe, but boy are you going to feel silly when the world ends and you haven't laid in a supply of Buffalo Bill's Sparkling Spring Water with Genuine Simulated Lime Flavoring. Who'll be saying nay then?

In related news, the Nutball Cult Capital of the World is now Texas, edging out longtime leader California. (Raw Story)

-McCain, translated-
John McCain has a new ad out for the general election with the message, "I hate war." No, really. One of the most enthusiastic backers of the war in Iraq seems to be afraid that we'll mistake his unbridled enthusiasm for pure joy. "Only a fool or a fraud talks tough or romantically about war," McCain tells the camera. "I was shot down over Vietnam and spent five years as a POW. Some of the friends I served with never came home. I hate war. And I know how terrible its costs are."

Luckily, the good folks at Talking Points Memo have translated the ad from bullshit to English.

"Even if that reckless chicken-hawk [Bush] took us to war, someone who actually understands and has experienced the costs of war -- someone you can actually believe -- is here to tell you that we must continue it."

Somehow, that doesn't scan as well. That electoral anchor chained to Baghdad Johnny's ankle isn't going anywhere and he's swimming as hard as he can. Someone throw him a brick. (TPM Election Central, with video)