You've got to wonder if they wear that stuff in bed...
-Headline of the day-
"Historic Wedding Held At Independence Hall."
Pennsylvania actors Ralph Archbold and Linda Wilde, known for playing Benjamin Franklin and Betsy Ross respectively, were married last night at Independence Hall in Philadelphia by Philly Mayor Michael Nutter.
According to the report, "The bride and groom, as well as the entire wedding party, were in costume for the event." Good move, Ralph. Now you'll never have an excuse for forgetting your anniversary. (AP)
-Happy B-Day, America!-
Former X frontman John Doe, with his band The Knitters, playing X's "Fourth of July" live. I'd dedicate it to Ralph and Linda, but it's about a failing relationship. Witness the awesomeness:
Be careful out there today -- don't get hammered and blow your fingers off, OK? (YouTube)
-So long, asshole-
Former Sen. Jesse Helms of North Carolina died today of natural causes. Known primarily as a racist, right wing loonietune, Helms' reputation as a real dick was well deserved.
Here are some fun quotes to remember him by:
To rob the Negro of his reputation of thinking through a problem in his own fashion is about the same as trying to pretend that he doesn't have a natural instinct for rhythm and for singing and dancing.
-Response to charges that a character in an op-ed was offensive.
No, I do not. And neither do the people in the armed forces. Mr. Clinton better watch out if he comes down here. He'd better have a bodyguard.
-On whether he thought Bill Clinton was "up to the job" as President -- on the anniversary of JFK's assassination.
All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction.
-On protests of his visit to Mexico.
It's their deliberate, disgusting, revolting conduct that is responsible for the disease.
-On gays and federal support for families of AIDS victims.
The University of Negroes and Communists.
-Mocking the University of North Carolina (UNC).
They should ask their parents if it would be all right for their son or daughter to marry a Negro.
-In response to Duke University students holding a vigil after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in 1968.
One last quote, from an interview hawking his memoirs; "My legacy will be up to others to describe." Fine, I'll give it a shot; hateful, stupid, racist, divisive, bigoted, crude, willfully ignorant, egotistical, worthless, spiteful, cruel, vindictive, soulless, heartless, small-minded, manipulative, reactionary, a blight on American society, and a tremendous waste of oxygen.
That about sums it up, I think. I'd suggest we declare it a national holiday, but the date's already taken.
Jesse Helms, dead at 86 -- a good argument in favor of the theory that only the good die young. When I vote for Obama in November, I'll give a posthumous finger to Jesse Helms. (AP, most of the quotes from Betty Bowers)
