'Congratulations on Destroying America!'
-The decline of western civilization continues-
The Homosexual Menace claims another victory as the greeting card giant Hallmark begins to sell same-sex wedding cards. The encroachment on wholesome American values began earlier, when Hallmark began to sell "coming out" cards to congratulate people who announce to relatives and friends that they're out to destroy the traditional family.
"It's our goal to be as relevant as possible to as many people as we can," says Hallmark spokeswoman Sarah Gronberg Kolell. Doom, however, is not imminent. Hallmark says that stores that don't hate America won't have to offer the cards. (Associated Press)
-Headline of the day-
"McCain Camp Responds to 'Houses' Situation... Hilariously."
Barack Obama has a new ad out hitting John McCain on the fact that he couldn't recall how many houses he has. The Obama team wasted no time putting this together, since McCain only had his stumble yesterday.
Still, Team McCain wasn't going to have the guy they're trying to paint as an elitist pointing out that McCain is stupid-rich and, by definition, a member of America's elite. So they came out swinging.
"The reality is they have some investment properties and stuff," McCain spokeman Brian Rogers said. "It's not as if he lives in ten houses. That's just not the case. The reality is they have four that actually could be considered houses they could use." Right, just like everyone else. And they're all lean-tos and log cabins. McCain owns neither four nor ten, but seven houses -- worth about $14 mil.
Not content with partial failure, Rogers soldiers on. "In terms of who's an elitist, I think people have made a judgment that John McCain is not an arugula-eating, pointy headed professor-type," he told the Washington Post. OK, now that's just stupid. Don't vote for Obama because he's all smart and nerdy and stuff -- except when he's way cool and a big time celebrity. For those who didn't get the memo, we're all hating arugula now -- whether or not this means we can start drinking lattes again isn't immediately clear.
Flailing and desperate, Rogers finally played the only card left to him. "This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years — in prison." That's right, the "POW-trumps-everything" card.
John McCain is becoming Rudy Giuliani without all the 9/11 references. As Jonathan Stein puts it, "Noun-verb-POW!" Look for John McCain to make all his future appearances inside a bamboo tiger cage, like in The Deerhunter. Just remember, he goes home every night to one of several gazillion-dollar houses, where he secretly eats arugula. (MoJo Blog)
-More War on American Values news-
The Jesus/America-hating forces of Secularism and Atheism are bringing this great nation to her knees. The annual Pew Religion and Public Life Survey finds that a majority of Americans --52%-- want religion out of politics.
Clearly, people aren't praying hard enough or something. Just keep repeating "The US is a Christian nation, the US is a Christian nation..." (Politico)
