Griper News: McCain Running on an 'Elaborate Fictional Narrative of Victimhood'

There was a time when Republicans campaigned on their ideas, programs and values. This year—lacking ideas, programs or values—John McCain and Sarah Palin are running for the White House on an elaborate fictional narrative of victimhood. Their supposed persecutors are Democrats and the news media, and the aim of this whole charade is to keep Americans from talking about ideas, programs and values.

I hear McCain’s amen chorus screaming, “Lipstick on a pig! Lipstick on a pig!” But they’re well aware that Obama was unambiguously talking about McCain’s economic ideas, not his running mate. It seems incomprehensible that the McCain campaign would make so much noise about an allegation that clearly doesn’t hold a drop of water—until you realize that the noise is the whole point.

As long as people are talking about barnyard beauty tips, they’re not talking about substance. Any day spent arguing about meaningless ephemera is a small but significant victory for a campaign that has nothing to say.

Think about the "big issues" McCain's brought up in the past week and you'll find it's 0% substance and 100% whining about perceived insults. McCain, having lost the debate on issues, is now playing the refs, trying to get everyone to call a foul on Barack Obama.

If you ever needed proof that McCain's got nuthin', I give you "lipstick on a pig." We've got a country to run here, John. You want to act like a damned adult or whine and cry like a goddam baby? That isn't going to fly in the White House.

Either get back to substance or shut the hell up.