Coin-op prostitute?
-Headline of the day-
"Police arrest Mich. man for car wash vacuum sex."
Cops in Thomas Township, Michigan arrested a man for "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" Thursday. I think it's probably clear to anyone what he was doing, but can a vacuum really do you a favor?
Police apprehended the man after a resident called in to report "suspicious activity" at the local car wash at 6:45 in the a.m. According to the report, "An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act."
You know, he could just have been cleaning out the dust in his pants. (Associated Press)
-Finally, an arrest for voter registration fraud!-
With Republicans freaking out that workers for ACORN have registering non-existent people to vote, they'll be happy to learn that the law has finally caught up with one of these destroyers of democracy.
According to the report, "Voters charge that Mark Jacoby duped them into joining the California Republican Party by making them believe they were signing a petition to toughen penalties against child molestors."
Wait a minute, Republican voter registration fraud? What gives?
If you re-register as a member of a different party, then dems won't waste time or money trying to get you out to vote. They won't send you information. They won't bother to give you a call. All you'll get are Republican fliers and Republican calls.
Meanwhile, if some ass from ACORN fills out a form for Mickey Mouse to pad out his quota, guess who's not going to show up, cast an illegal vote on election day, and steal the election for Barack Obama (who, I might add, is already winning anyway)?
Still, I expect Republicans to cheer this arrest and really make a big freakin' deal about it. Because we all know that the GOP is never hypocritical. (Think Progress)
-Bonus HotD-
"Political signs bring threats in Villa Park."
People who've put out Obama yard signs in the Chicago suburb of Villa Park have found a nasty little surprise in their mailboxes. Two residents have reported letters, with a Villa Park Village Hall return address, ordering them to remove the signs. The clue that these aren't really from the town hall? The death penalty for putting out the signs.
"Get the Obama signs off your property—now," residents were told in the letters. "Failure to obey this order will result in the immediate death of all family members."
"I'm quite troubled," Village President Joyce Stupegia said. "It's obviously a person who's a little nutsy getting carried away. But it's unacceptable." Yeah, death threats are a little bit unacceptable.
Besides, what the hell's the reasoning here? If people in a little suburb take down their yard signs, McCain will win Illinois? Seriously? McCain has as much chance of taking Illinois as he does of being nominated for a Nobel in chemistry. It just ain't gonna happen.
I guess the lesson here is that political terrorism is only committed by stupid, stupid people. (Chicago Tribune, via reddit)
