The Stuff I Didn't Get To -- 11/25/08

Her jaw broken, Ann Coulter resorts to mime

-Ann Coulter to shut up for a while-
Because she broke her jaw and had it wired shut.

Sucks to be Ann Coulter.

Especially now, since she has a broken jaw, too. (FishBowlLA)


-Headline of the day-
"Florida judge: Adoption ban has 'no rational basis'."

Wow, you know -- I probably would've used almost the exact same wording. "Absurd" and "stupid" might've come up as well.

Miami Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman has basically ruled Florida's ban on gay adoption "irrational" -- read "crazy" -- and ordered that a man be allowed to adopt. According to the report, "The ruling will allow 47-year-old Martin Gill to adopt two young brothers he has cared for as foster children since 2004."

Seriously Florida, what's your fucking problem? Banning marriage equality is bad enough, but barring something like this is lunatic. But this is Florida -- home of the Terri Schiavo fiasco, where you can't be sane about anything political -- and the state promises to appeal the ruling.

Florida, leading the way to the 14th century. (Associated Press)


-This has to be the fourteenth minute of fame-
The election hasn't been over for an entire month, which means we're still supposed to give a damn about campaign names like Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber. I say "supposed to" because the media seems to think we do. But we don't.

While Sarah Palin can expect to while away her life in frostbitten obscurity (yes, that's wishful thinking), Joe the Plumber is on a spectacular upward arc to fame and fortune for asking Barack Obama a stupid question.

Beginning that rocket-like rise to super-duper-stardom, Joe's already making celebrity endorsements. OK, not really endorsements, infomercials really. OK, not really infomercials, promo videos for online electronics stores.

If you don't buy an analog-to-digital converter, you won't be able to keep up on all the Joe the Plumber news. And then where will you be? So Joe wants you to buy one. If you don't, he won't get his commission and he'll have to go get his plumbers' license.

"America, we’ve never had a transition of this magnitude in the United States," Joe says. "The DTV transition affects the public safety of the United States, so it’s imperative that all Americans come together and learn all we can about the DTV transition…"

That's right, the elections are over. This isn't the time for fighting and partisanship. Now is the time for all good 'Mericans to come together and learn about digital television.

Next up, Sarah Palin does a spot for Overstock.com, just like whoever the hell that Swedish lady was. (Wonkette, via reddit)