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Friday, February 13, 2009

The Stuff I Didn't Get To -- 2/13/09

Daniel Ortega, Hugo Chavez, and Linda Panetta
Annual meeting of the Barack Obama fan club


-Headline of the day-
"Is Leon Panetta's daughter a 'radical anti-American' who posed with Venezuela's Chavez?"

Not surprisingly, the answer is no. In fact, Barack Obama's nominee to head the CIA doesn't even have a daughter. But that doesn't stop a wingnut email from asking "WILL PANETTA HAVE TO INVESTIGATE HIS OWN DAUGHTER??????????"

"You'll most likely never hear about it in the media..." the email reads, then refers to an accompanying photo. "[Pannetta's daughter] Linda is a supporter of all the anti-American regimes in this Hemisphere. Here she is with Hugo Chavez [Venezuela] and Daniel Ortega [Nicaragua], two sworn enemies of the United States."

The email's right, you won't hear about this in the media, because it's bullshit. The woman in the photo is Philadelphia photographer Linda Panetta, who's related to Leon by coincidence of name and nothing else. Not surprisingly, Linda's not "anti-American" either.

Think about this for a second; you see a photo of a woman named Linda Panetta with Hugo Chavez and Daniel Ortega and you just automatically assume that she's Leon Panetta's daughter who, by the way, hates America. Why? Because Leon Panetta was nominated by Barack Obama -- a known commie America-hater.

According to the report, "This chain e-mail is far from the truth, but it has fooled a number of right-leaning blogs and Web sites." Because wingnuts get all their news from what amounts to freakin' chain letters.

Conservative media critic Cliff Kincaid has come out against the story, citing a "need for higher journalistic standards in the conservative blogosphere." When Cliff -- a professional bullshit artist -- calls BS on you, you've gone far, far into right wing fantasyland. It's like having Sean Hannity tell you you've gone too far in your Obama-hating; at that point, you've gone completely around the bend.

And think, this is only weeks into the Obama administration. Imagine how clownish and lunatic and paranoid the right wing blogosphere will become as time goes on.

This is going to be as funny as it's going to be stupid. (Annenberg Fact Check)


-The definition of "irony"-
Blurblette from Right Wing Watch, "The scheduled airing of the American Family Association's 'Speechless: Silencing Christian' on a television station in Grand Rapids, Michigan has been cancelled."

Clearly, the End Times are nigh. (Right Wing Watch)


-Bonus HotD-
"Things that make Creationists look stupid."

In a post by creationist whackjob Kent Hovin -- part of a series of posts titled "Things that make evolutionists look stupid" -- the argument is made that the appendix is essential and that "fascists who regulate the health industry in America" are involved in a conspiracy to keep this from us.

Appendix problems are "caused by poor diet and severe constipation" and people suffering from appendicitis should "immediately stop eating and get an enema."

"A high enema, or high colonic, is very much preferable," Hovind writes. "A series of regular rectal enemas may have to suffice, if the proper equipment is not available. The enema will relieve the pressure that has built up inside of the appendix. It might even be a good idea to start with a rectal enema and work your way up to a high enema." He even includes an herbal recipe to jam up your butt if you get appendicitis.

"I've noticed that quacks are often obsessed with sticking things up people's asses," writes PZ Meyers, an associate professor at the University of Minnesota. "I detect some sublimation going on here…"

Why all this focus on the appendix and the butt? Because the appendix is a vestigial organ, which suggests evolution. So that has to be wrong.

This is funny enough until you realize that some Jesus-happy dumbass with appendicitis is going to read this and treat themselves by cramming echinacea and garlic up their ass. Sometime thereafter, they'll die.

But it's better to die than admit there's any evidence for evolution at all. Ignore reality for long enough and it will go away -- mostly as your awareness slips into oblivion at your death.

So, what's one thing that makes creationists look stupid?

Creationists. (Pharyngula)

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