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Thursday, September 09, 2010

Stories to Watch: 9/9/10

Think you've got problems? Hawaii sometimes has tornadoes made out of freakin' fire! Suck it up, whiner. Now here's the news...

Veepee Joe Biden carries out his constitutional duty.

Washington Republican Hans Zeiger warns that the Girls Scouts are a bunch of baby-killing atheist lesbians, so buy lots and lots of cookies and join the radical lesbian paramilitary movement.

Glenn Beck sure has a thing for coincidental dates. First, he holds a rally at the Lincoln Memorial that's coincidentally on the anniversary of a famous speech made there, then he's raking in the big bucks with Sarah Palin on a date that's coincidentally the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. If you were the cynical sort, you might believe that these weren't coincidental at all.

The need for bringing back strong organized labor illustrated: Mott's Applesauce makes $555 million in profits, which apparently isn't enough. Mott's CEO makes $6.5 million. The workers are offered $1.50 an hour pay cut to make the company more profitable than the $555 million they already make. The CEO's lavish salary will remain untouched. Does that suck? Yes, that sucks. So strike it is -- I'm stickin' to the union. Find out what you can do.

Republicans are running for reelection by opposing a Wall Street bailout Bush instituted and they voted for. Don't worry though, Wall Street knows this is phony -- just like you and I do -- and is handing Republicans big sacks of money.

Quran-burning lunatic Terry Jones loses his website, because violations of the host's terms of service include something along the lines of "being an total prick." Meanwhile, Afghan insurgents go low-tech about the whole thing. Interpol chimes in as well. UPDATE: Jones canceled the festivities.

I live in one of America's 20 strongest major metro areas, according the Brookings Institute. Not bad for a bunch radical leftist Satan worshipers, huh? Turns out all this liberal economic stuff actually works.

Finally, Sarah Palin is backing Delaware masturbation opponent Christine O'Donnell for Senate. It's a move that would seem to leave some of Sarah's most ardent supporters feeling a little uncomfortable.

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