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Thursday, November 04, 2010

News Roundup for 11/4/10

Unicorn and rainbow
The view from Michele Bachmann's window


-Headline of the Day-
"Bachmann Outraged Over Made Up Cost Of Obama's India Trip."

Allow me to harken way back to this morning, when I pointed out that Republicans create outrage over things that don't really exist. I stand verified. You're welcome.

See, Shelly was on Anderson Cooper's show and Andy wanted to know about cutting stuff like Medicare and Social Security, like Rep. Paul Ryan says we gotta. But no, no, no Shelly didn't want to talk about that because a) it's not super-popular and b) it's complicated and has real numbers and hard stuff like that so, c) it's really beyond her powers of intelligence.

No, she wanted to talk about President Obama's upcoming trip to India, where he'll mess around with swamis and snakecharmers and stuff and really get nothing done. Bachmann says the trip will "cost the taxpayers $200 million a day."

See, that's the made up part -- and it's insane. According to the report, the "entire war in Afghanistan currently costs about $190 million a day." Shelly just reached right into her pantsuit and pulled a number out of her butt. A really big, scary one. When Cooper called her on it, Bachmann said, "Well these are the numbers that have been coming out in the press." What press, you might ask? Right wing blogs, which are about as credible as a prankster on April Fool's Day.

So, congratulations America voter. You've just elected a bunch of maniacs with absolutely no grasp of reality. Once Shelly knocks the cost of Obama's trip to India down a bit, maybe she can fix the terrible problem people have with unicorns trampling their jelly bean bushes. Or take a whack at the mermaid shortage. Maybe finally privatize the Fountain of Youth, like the founders intended.

Don't worry folks, Shelly Bachmann's on the case. (Talking Points Memo, with video)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, it's actually cartoon time without Mark Fiore, because he's on vacation or sick or something. So we get a cartoon from some guy named Xeth, who's filling in. Have fun and/or don't die Uncle Mark!

Today, we'll learn how to fight the post-election blues! Yay!


Click for animation


Wait, that wasn't very good advice at all... (MarkFiore.com)

-Bonus HotD-
"Congressman-Elect Tim Walberg Calls For Government Shutdown If Obama Doesn’t Follow His Mandate."

That ought to work out well for him. The stupid just never stops with these guys, does it? (Think Progress)

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