News Roundup for 9/2/10

Restoring Honor

-Headline of the Day-
"Glenn Beck's George Washington Whopper."

While Glenn Beck was Restoring the Lincoln Memorial's or Martin Luther King's or somebody's Honor last weekend, he spoke of a life-changing encounter with history he'd had recently. According to Mother Jones, Beck "invoked [George] Washington while describing the inspiring experience of visiting famous tourist destinations around the nation's capital. 'I have been going to Mt. Vernon,' he explained. Holding out his hands for emphasis, he declared with emotion, 'I went to the National Archives, and I held the first inaugural address written in his own hand by George Washington.'"

This got a lot of people thinking. That couldn't possibly be right. Who asks to handle a precious national document in a museum setting and gets the answer, "Aw, what the hell... What could it hurt?" Nobody, that's who.

So MJ did some asking around and uncovered the obvious -- it didn't happen. The National Archives says they showed some artifacts to Beck, but that "Those kinds of treasures are only handled by specially trained archival staff." So no Transformative Moment when Glenn held the Holy Document in his trembling, mortal hand.

But hey, slinging bullshit when you're trying to pump yourself up into some sort of a relevant national figure?

That's what you call "Restoring Honor." (Mother Jones)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, you know how Glenn Beck Restored some Honor someplace? Well, he also Restored the Honor of the Bible. Yay!


Click for animation

Apparently, that Charlton Heston movie got it all wrong!

...or am I thinking of The Wizard of Oz? (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"One Day Before Its Gulf Oil Rig Exploded, Mariner Energy Said Obama 'Is Trying To Break Us' With Moratorium."

In life, as in comedy, essential is timing... I mean, timing is essential.

Spill baby, spill! (Think Progress)

How to Win a Gubernatorial Debate, the Jan Brewer Way

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer shows up to the first gubernatorial debate well-prepared and ready to kick some ass! Teabags forever! w00t!

OK, so that didn't go so well. You'd think her staff would've clued her in on the fact that you have to actually say things at debates. Dead air and an embarrassed grin don't exactly inspire confidence. Still, as much as it seems like it, time has not stopped and she runs out the clock. Success!

Then the debate turns to her irresponsible "ARIZONA IS A VIOLENT HELLHOLE! PANIC! PANIC!!" messaging and things go from bad to worse. She dodges a question about her beheadings lie, but good questions never actually die. They just lay in wait outside the studio doors like a mountain lion, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting Jan. She leaves the studio and is met by reporters with one subject on their minds -- beheadings.

Yup, she pulls a Sharron Angle and bolts. You get the feeling that, if she knew where the light switch was, she would've thrown the room into darkness. See, this is why supervillains carry those flashbomb things. When things get dicey, you throw one and escape in the smoke, leaving only your sinister cackle behind. So, on this point too, Jan Brewer came unprepared.

So, when all is said and done, who won this debate?

Jan Brewer, of course.

Griper Blade: It's a Lot Easier for the Rich to Get Richer Without Democracy

One of the few things that left and right can agree on (though the right will only do so grudgingly) is that, regardless of how you counted the disputed votes in Florida, Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000. If the concept of "one person, one vote" were anything other than a lie, we wouldn't be talking about "Bush tax cuts" right now. Democracy in America is more of a conceptual thing than an actual thing. And it's becoming more conceptual all the time. As the world changes, our access to democracy is changing as well.

One of the biggest threats to democracy and the average voter has been the rise of capitalism in China. Not because of the competition -- we've had credible competitors many, many times in our history -- but because it has proven to the professional investor class in America that democracy and freedom aren't essential to thriving capitalism. Sure, there have been economic success stories in less than free nations before, but generally speaking these have involved luck; an abundant natural resource that can be exploited, maybe. Saudi Arabia would be an example of this.

But China is an oppressive system that has seen the rise of a manufacturing base. They don't have to worry about environmentalists or (ironically) unions. As a result, they are pure capitalism -- maybe the purest known to exist -- with few restrictions and even fewer beneficiaries. They have gone from communism to oligarchy and there are more than a few would-be oligarchs in the US who look at China with one thought in mind; "I want that."...[CLICK TO READ FULL POST]