Stories to Watch: 10/1/10

Meet the 36 million-year-old giant Peruvian penguin. Note to Creationists: no one would ever make something like that up. Now here's the news...


Farewell, Rahm Emanuel. Hello, Pete Rouse. Who the hell is Pete Rouse? I thought you might ask. Adam Serwer doesn't see a big change ahead for the post-Rahm White House. So there's that.


Things House Republicans don't think are all that important: education, cancer research, police and firefighters. GOP plans would cut $100 billion from these. Tax cuts for bazillionaires are still the most important thing ever, though.


Is that a dildo on your microphone or are you just glad to see us? It's not just US politicians who are clueless, it seems.


CNN's Rick Sanchez hates on Jon Stewart, channels Henry Ford.


There will be a big labor rally in DC this weekend. Estimates -- which could be optimistic -- have somewhere in the neighborhood of 175,000 people showing up. For the record, that's about double what Beck's rally turned out. So the big question is, if the numbers dwarf the teabaggers, will the media give a crap?


Punditry holds an "Ideas Festival." The result: are you kidding? No ideas.


Only Communists eat their vegetables.


Finally, Joe the Plumber, the Eagle Forum, and Tea Party activists come out in defense of inhumane treatment of dogs in puppy mills in Missouri. You heard that right: anti-puppy patriots. They're all against a referendum that would shut down abusive puppy mills in Missouri, which has the second worst conditions in the nation. "This radical animal rights organization is using the referendum process to slowly, systematically eliminate food production in the United States," says Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelhoopy. What "radical animal rights organization" is Winklebacher talking about? The Humane Society of the United States.

News Roundup for 10/1/10

Perhaps the craziest person in America

-Headline of the Day-
"Sharron Angle's D.C. lawyer wants 'whack job' Tea Partier out of the race."

You ever wonder who might be too crazy for crazy desert hobo Sharron Angle? Me neither. But now we know anyway! It's third-party teabagger candidate Scott Ashjian, who's the other person running against her and some Democrat guy no one ever heard of. Angle's campaign is afraid that Ashjian could split the frootloop vote and give the election to the Harry Reid guy, whoever he is.

So Angle lawyer Cleta Mitchell has been leaving the Nevada Tea Party voice messages that go something like this: "I have been practicing law a long time and let me tell you I can settle anything. But I gotta have a meeting of the minds and you got a whack job you are dealing with and he has got a lot of ego involved here and he says he is getting 18, 19 percent of the vote, well that’s great, costing Sharron the election, costing us the election."

When someone who works for Sharron Angle calls you a "whack job," then you should probably call Guinness and see if you qualify for some sort of record. (Political Carnival)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Want to know how to launch a political controversy? Here ya go:



So. Much. Truth... (Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)


-Bonus HotD-
"U.S. apologizes for Guatemala STD experiments."

Stem cell research isn't science gone mad, shooting up Guatemalans with gonorrhea and syphilis and encouraging them to go have lots of sex with uninfected people so you can study how disease spreads is science gone mad.

Update your talking points accordingly. (MSNBC)

Griper Blade: Every GOP Senate Candidate a Flatearther

I've decided that exercise is bad for you. Every time you light a candle, it gets shorter. Every time you take a drink of water, the glass gets emptier. Every time you draw off a battery, it's useful life gets shorter. Besides, I'm not the world's biggest fan of exercise, so this works out better for me.

Of course, this requires ignoring decades of research and the established opinion of the medical community. But I don't need some fancy-pants, ivory tower elitist medical degree. Common sense tells me that the more I work out, the worse off I'll be. It's a declaration I feel totally qualified to make: stop exercising everyone, it's killing you. It's all just a big scam to sell gym memberships and Gatorade. I don't care what your doctor might tell you, I'm just relying on good old American horse sense. And isn't that always better? It's certainly easier to understand than this pie-in-the-sky science stuff.

The above is basically the argument offered by global warming deniers. Sure, there are a few actual scientists who don't believe in global warming, but the vast, vast majority accept it. And the majority of people offering opinions contrary to the scientific consensus aren't scientists. So the odds are extremely good that anyone speaking against anthropogenic global warming is basically making my "no exercise" argument -- I'm ignoring decades of research, I'm ignoring the opinions of experts, and I'm going with my gut on this one. Besides, global warming is just as inconvenient for me as Al Gore said it was, so the science must be wrong. End of story...[CLICK TO READ FULL POST]