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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

News Roundup for 5/15/12

Johnny Depp as vampire Barnabas Collins from 'Dark Shadows'
Damned for sure

-Headline of the Day-
"Playing with Satan proves not to be funny."

Tim Burton's Dark Shadows is getting some bad reviews. And it should be no surprise; a lazy comedic take on a nearly forgotten TV soap opera and a transparent attempt to replicate the box office success of The Addams Family franchise -- what is there to love? The thing has suck written all over it; pun not intended.

But over at WingNutDaily, reviewer Drew Zahn hates it for entirely different reasons. Namely, it glorifies Satan -- or some such horseshit. I swear, when I read this stuff, I can barely make heads or tails of it. See, the logic works this way: if you make a joke out of Satan, then no one takes him seriously. Once you let your guard down like that, you are screwed.

"If you believe, as the Bible clearly teaches, there really is a prince of darkness who works in the shadows 'looking for someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8) – a master deceiver who would tempt all people toward their own decay and destruction without ever tipping his hand to reveal his face – then reducing his presence to a mere joke would seem to play right into his plan, would it not?" he asks.

But, as always, the right doesn't seem to understand a basic fact about film making. See, movies aren't real! And that fact seems a little beyond Zahn. He notes, "Depp’s character... studies black magic, invokes 'Satan’s true name” (according to the film) Mephistopheles, calls the witch 'a whore of Beelzebub… succubus of Satan… harlot of the devil' and most significantly, shouts the lines, 'Show yourself to me, Satan!' and, 'Have at me Lucifer; my soul is prepared!'"

"Acting or not, I sincerely hope for Depp’s sake Lucifer doesn’t take him up on the invitation," Zahn writes.

Yeah, because no one's ever called on Satan in a dramatic work before. Satan is surely coming to drag Johnny Depp down to hell. (WorldNetDaily)

-Republican version of 'traditional family'-

And a mistress or two on the side. (McClatchy)

-Bonus HotD-
"Colorado women accused of spraying Lysol on dirty dancing ‘sluts and whores.’"

Worth a read just for the phrase "advertising butt sex." (Raw Story)
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