News Roundup for 7/14/11

Infographic of the Reid-McConnell debt limit plan

-Headline of the day-
"Harry Reid And Mitch McConnell: 'Hybrid' Solution To Debt Standoff."

You know how I'm always saying that if you meet someone who's crazy halfway, the results are halfway crazy? Turns out that Harry Reid has decided to meet Mitch McConnell halfway and the results are predictable. The two have knocked together a plan to raise the debt ceiling and... Well, check it out for yourself.

According to the report, "The plan, which is being hatched by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), would ensure that over $1.5 trillion in cuts over ten years be passed into law. It would also grant President Obama the authority to extend the debt ceiling through the 2012 election season while requiring him to propose -- but allowing him to ultimately veto -- cuts beyond those initial $1.5 trillion."

OK, do what now? Each day, this thing gets more needlessly complicated. Did I mention the new panel? Yeah, "the deal would create a new 'deficit commission' comprised solely of lawmakers who would be tasked with finding additional savings in the budget. The commission's recommendations would be given automatic, amendment-free votes in both chambers of Congress." Because the Democrat-controlled Senate and the Republican-controlled House are in agreement so often, I guess. This will all pass sure as shootin', right?

Here's what you do; you sit Mitch and Boehner down in a room -- Cantor you lock in a steamer trunk -- and tell them that polling shows that the public is inclined to blame the GOP if the country goes into default. You tell them that you'll officially change the name of the Oval Office to the "Everything's Republican's Fault Room" and work 24/7 to see that the public's inclination doesn't change. White House press conferences will feature a pullstring toy and every time a reporter pulls the string, it'll say, "Everything's Republicans' fault!" Special editions of Jeopardy will be commissioned, where every answer is "What is something that's the Republicans' fault?" And Air Force One will fly back and forth of the nation, fitted with a mile-long banner reading... Well, you get the idea.

That ought to do the trick. (Huffington Post)


-Cartoon time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, Uncle Mark has a special cartoon he calls "Mourning in America." Yay!

Um, wait... Is that spelled right?


Click for animation

Yeah. I guess that's spelled right. (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"Minnesota Governor Offers To End Shutdown, Reestablish Beer Supply."

Pray he succeeds or Minnesotan society will surely collapse. (Wonkette)

News Roundup for 7/11/11

Sen. Mitch McConnell

-Headline of the Day-
"McConnell: Casey Anthony verdict a warning."

Oh for fuck's sake...

Proving that there is absolutely nothing that Republicans can't politicize and capitalize on, Senate minority leader "Chinless Mitch" McConnell declared the US system of justice completely worthless yesterday. "We just found with the Caylee Anthony case how difficult is to get a conviction in a U.S. court," McConnell said -- and that's why we should never, ever, ever try a terrorist suspect in a court of law.

Of course, following this line of reasoning, everyone accused of a crime should go before a military tribunal. Got an outstanding parking ticket? Off to Gitmo! It's the only place that still serves American justice!

We'll keep that in mind the next time some Republican gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar, OK Mitch? (UPI)


-The internet hive-mind strikes again-
When I was writing the piece above, I went looking for an image to represent Mitch McConnell -- so "cartoon turtle glasses" it was. The result:


Click to embiggen

On the first page. (Google Image Search)


-Bonus HotD-
"'Nobody is talking about not raising the debt ceiling'."

Yesterday seems to have been "National Mitch McConnell Spews Crazy-Assed Bullshit Day."

And I didn't even get my mother a card. (Political Animal)

Making the Impossible Impossibler

This is interesting. It turns out that Mitch McConnell can force a vote on healthcare reform repeal, but only by making what's already nearly impossible more impossible.

The Atlantic:

While the health care repeal that the House passed Wednesday has little chance of passage in the Senate, Republicans will probably succeed in eventually forcing a vote on the measure -- albeit with at least a 60-vote threshold.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., who controls the Senate floor schedule, has said he will not bring the repeal up. But Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., pledged to force consideration of the bill.

[...]

Republican aides noted they can force a vote by offering the repeal as an amendment, or by using the Senate's Rule 14 process to bring the bill to the floor, then filing cloture on it. The easiest course for the GOP might be to try to force a vote on the repeal as an amendment to a bill that's likely to pass, such as an appropriations measure. Reid can block amendments to bills, but Republicans could then force a vote on a motion to suspend the rules to take up the amendment. They would need 67 votes to win such a vote. Any other course would require 60 votes. (The conservative Heritage Foundation has more onhow Republicans could arrange a vote).

Teabagger theater may get even more theatrical. Maybe now would be a nice time to give up on pipedreams and do something crazy -- like govern.

But we both know that's not going to happen.