Rev. Fred Phelps
-"Lookit me! I'm offensive!"-
Guess which anti-everything psychopath is going to protest funerals of the victims of the bridge collapse in Minnesota? That's right, Fred Phelps. Seems that the bridge collapsed because Minnesota doesn't hate gays enough. In a press release, Westboro Baptist said, "The bridge stood in place by the word of God and it fell by the word of God...Each of these little events is just a harbinger of the coming destruction of this American experiment. We are delivering the final call of the doomed nation."
Here's the thing -- we aren't offended by your little dog and pony show anymore, Fred. You're just a whiny little attention whore. You bore us. Go away. (Minnesota Monitor, via Think Progress)
-Close enough...-
Microsoft founder Bill Gates is no longer the richest person in the world, reports Fortune Magazine. That title now belongs to mexican telecom magnate Carlos Slim Helu. "By our calculations, the 67-year-old Slim has amassed a 59 billion dollar fortune, based on the value of his public holdings at the end of July," the magazine says, "This number puts him just ahead of perennial number one, Microsoft founder Bill Gates, whose net worth is estimated to be at least 58 billion dollars."
Golly, that must be tough... (AFP)
-Won't take 'You Suck!" for an answer-
Alan Keyes' effort to draft Alan Keyes to run for president is moving right along -- despite the fact that his pre-campaign is moving at a glacial pace. In fact, describing it as 'glacial' is a slam on the breathtaking speed of glaciers. Call it tectonic.
Keyes' attempt to gin up phony excitement over his possible candidacy has reached ridiculous heights, with Keyes setting up not one, but two booths for next weekend's Iowa Straw Poll. Keyes won't actually be there, despite the two booths, but his pretend non-campaign says, "We've printed 11,000 color tri-fold fliers to hand out. We'll have two booths--one inside the Hilton Coliseum and one outside on the event grounds--with a professional display, two 4' x 10' vinyl banners that say 'We Need Alan Keyes for President,' and continuous videos of Alan (using 20" flat screens and--for outdoors--a 700-watt per speaker PA system)... All this should make quite an impact."
My money's on no impact whatsoever. I'm guessing he'll be just as unpopular after all of this as he was before. People don't vote for PA systems, Al. (Right Wing Watch)
-Headline of the day-
"Man Claims To Have Magical Sword During Heist, Deputies Say." Specifically, Excalibur. According to the report, "Authorities say Brian Young [of Brooksville, FL] claimed he was armed with Excalibur when he reportedly held up a Subway restaurant on Mariner Boulevard Sunday night." Using the power of the mighty sword of legend, Young scored $440 -- even though he was completely unarmed.
He was apprehended at a nearby bowling alley and charged with unarmed robbery. Asked why he chose Excalibur by a reporter, Young said, "I would've used Thor's hammer -- Mjolnir -- but no one ever recognizes the name." (Hernando Today)
