Tony Zirkle, noted dumbass racist
-The "R" is for "racist"-
A big ol' honkin' GOP moron is making waves for pitching his campaign to a bunch of right wing fascists -- literally.
Tony Zirkle, an Indiana 2nd congressional district Republican hopeful addressed "a weekend gathering in Chicago of the American National Socialist Workers Party" or, as it is more commonly known, the American Nazi Party.
According to that report, "The occasion was a celebration of the 119th anniversary of the birth of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler." Do you wonder if he brought a birthday present?
Why yes, yes he did. "At a news conference Monday afternoon, Zirkle said he agreed to address the group and talk about his experience as state's attorney," the report tells us. "He also said he took the opportunity to preach the gospel and handed out commentaries on the life of Jesus." WWJL -- Who Would Jesus Lynch?
On the bright side, no sane person thinks Zirkle stands a chance in hell. (WSBT)
-White House Life-
Animated political cartoonist Mark Fiore imagines what Bush's retirement would look like if it were presented as one of those retirement planning videos:
Click to view animation
Don't worry, someone else will work on finishing everything he started.
Or, better, worry... (MarkFiore.com)
-Headline of the day-
"President makes surprise appearance on 'Deal or No Deal'."
Not the president of NBC, but the president -- that Bush fella. Bush offered a recorded good luck message to Iraq war veteran Army Captain Joseph Kobes, who was the night's contestant.
"Good evening, captain Kobes," Bush began. "I am thrilled to be on 'Deal or No Deal' with you tonight. Come to think of it -- I'm thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days. Howie, I don't know if you're free to come to Washington anytime soon. But, I have to reach an agreement with Congress on the federal budget. How'd you like to host a three-trillion dollar 'Deal or No Deal? Captain Kobes, thank you for your courageous service in Iraq. You and your fellow men and women in uniform are heroes to all Americans whose freedoms you protect. Laura and I are rootin' for you tonight. And good luck!"
Hahaha! He made a joke about how everyone thinks he sucks and that he's been predicted to blow $3,000,000,000,000 on this big deadly clusterfuck in Iraq before it's all over! Yeah, that's twelve zeroes. Hoo-hoo!
Golly, that's as hilarious as the time he joked about not being able to find any WMD. The only way he could ever top this zaniness would be to take a dump on an actual wounded veteran. (KARE11)
-Happy Earth Day!-
I would've mentioned it earlier, but apparently nothing funny that's Earth Day-related happened today. Ask all the cartoonists, they'll tell you. If you want a chuckle, go pants a tree or something. (Earth Day Network)
