The future of American labor under McCain
-Headline of the day-
"McCain Promises To Help Ohio Residents Who Lost Their Jobs Because Of His Campaign Manager."
John McCain, reg'lar fella and champion of the workin' man, made a campaign stop in Ohio in July, where he faced what would seem to be the average sort of campaign stop question.
The package delivery service DHL is merging with Airborne-Express and the resulting closures will cost around 8,000 for the Wimington, OH area. According to the report, "In a townhall on July 9, a resident asked McCain what he would do to mitigate the merger’s effects on the area. 'I want to be able to keep our nonprofits alive,' she said, crying. McCain said the impact of the merger on area jobs is a 'terrible blow'..." Then he went with his patented "straight talk" -- which you can always spot because he slaps a big goddam "straight talk" label on it:
This is a terrible blow. Um, if there’s an anti-trust implication that’s associated with this, I certainly would seek a thorough investigation … I’ve got to look you in the eye and give you some straight talk; I don’t know if I can stop it or not. Or if it will be stopped it. … In fact, some more straight talk: I doubt it. Ok?
I'm guessing probably not OK. Left out of Baghdad Johnny's "straight talk" blowoff was the fact that McCain campaign manager Rick Davis was the one who swung the deal. In fact, this headline cuts McSame a little slack by saying he promised something he didn't. He actually couched "I ain't gonna do shit" in the language of low expectations and called it "straight talk."
You stay classy, John. (Think Progress)
-McCain displeases the bus Gods-
Either McCain or Joe Lieberman, anyway.
McCain's campaign bus, the "Straight Talk Express," got into a fender-bender in Florida after it hit a minivan in Miami. McCain wasn't on the bus, being busy offering comforting lies to unemployed Ohioans, but the head of McCain's cheerleading squad, Joe Lieberman, was.
No one was hurt, although considering its passenger, it must've carried incredible forward Joementum.
If you're looking for omens here, the minivan that halted all this Joementum with its driver's side door revealed an unpleasant fact -- someone stuck an Obama sticker on the ass end of the Straight Talk Express.
Superstitious Baghdad Johnny is said to be in talks with a witch doctor to remove the curse of the Obama sticker. (Miami Herald, Huffington Post)
-Just what everyone needs-
Christina Swartz knows what New Concord, Ohio needs -- a "Christian dollar store." According to the report, "The store opened for business on June 15, offering items with Christian themes to fit any budget." Because doodads with Jesus on them are always so expensive.
The article offers no examples of this cheapie Christian merchandise, but if I can't get a t-shirt that says, "Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this fucking t-shirt," then they won't get my business.
Expect John McCain to swing by and buy a glow in the dark Jesus for his Straight Talk Express -- gotta get rid of that Obama curse on it somehow. (Zanesville Times Recorder)
