Typical state Republican party operative
-How to be a Republican-
First, you hire a bunch of temps to canvass in a typical American state -- say, Wisconsin. Then, you pay them ten bucks an hour and send them door to door to encourage absentee voting for John McCain. So far, so good. What you've got here is a perfectly legit absentee voter campaign.
But you're a Republican, remember? "Perfectly legit" is not what you do. So you instruct all these temps to tell voters they're volunteers. Because that looks better. But having this come out doesn't look good, so you make them sign agreements saying they won't tell anyone you told them to lie.
And here's where you really establish your GOP bona fides -- you stiff them on their last check. They aren't super-happy about that, so they get ahold of the Associated Press and spill the beans, agreement be damned. It can't possibly be binding anyway, since you made them lie.
Then, when AP calls your Wisconsin office to see what's up, you deny everything; you never told anyone to lie, you never made anyone sign anything, you paid everyone, who is this "John McCain" person and what the hell is "Wisconsin?" Sounds like something some liberal made up.
The Republican party, ladies and gentleman, a political machine whose corruption is thankfully offset by their incompetence. Still, I hope they finally pay those guys. They don't need to be deadbeats, too. (Associated Press)
-Headline of the day-
"The Difference Two Years Makes."
It's a cautionary tale about the perils of early polling. Two years ago yesterday, SurveyUSA interviewed 600 Americans in each state. In that poll, a race between Barack Obama and John McCain netted 510 electoral votes for McCain. Obama took Illinois, Hawaii, and DC. A freakin' McCain landslide.
Today, Obama's projected -- by Karl Freakin' Rove -- to win 338 EVs, with McCain coming up short with 200.
Hope you didn't bet on the outcome based on that 2006 poll. Because that would've been stupid. (MoJo Blog)
-One last poll, for old time's sake-
Like every other poll out there, this one's predicting an Obama win. The Domino's Pizza Tracking Poll is a freakin' landslide. While 151,416 Domino's customers have said they'll vote for Obama, only 93,718 backed McCain. In other news, Republicans tend to spend more and use credit than Democrats -- just like in Washington.
For extra fun, no one at Domino's is really happy with these results. The company was found by a right wing loon.
That may explain why their pizza blows. Seriously, you're never going to get good pizza from a chain. (MarketWatch)
