News Roundup for 12/10/09

The only way to tell a good law from a bad law

-Headline of the day-
"Republicans now arguing that the Senate health care bill isn't long enough."

Remember when the healthcare bill was too long and people actually reported on how much it weighed?

Yeah, that was then. This is now. When the House version came down, bronzer addict John Boehner said, "All you need to know is there are 1,990 pages." Too freakin' long. Because healthcare reform is complicated at all.

It's different story in the Senate now, where a slightly longer bill is too short. "And we talk about 2,074 pages, which seem like a lot, and it would be for a normal bill that you could debate in a limited period of time, which is what we’re being asked to do," said Wyoming Sen. Mike Enzi. "But 2,074 pages isn’t nearly enough to cover health care for America. So why is it only 2,074 pages?"

I'm guessing it's because that's about the point where you're done, Mike. It's not like it's a novel. Padding it won't get you anything.

I'm guessing that my healthcare reform bill won't make anyone on the right any happier. At just two sentences, it's too short for the Senate. And I doubt John Boehner would like it much. But here it is anyway.

"Everyone gets Medicare.

"The end." (Think Progress, with video)


-Handy tip (of your finger)-
In an article on our big storm of the past two days, the Wisconsin State Journal reports that some people weren't very cautious.

Steve Van Dinter, spokesman for St. Mary's Hospital, said the emergency room had seven amputations already from snowblower accidents.

"It's all guys," he said. "Fingertips are gone or even worse."

If your snowblower jams up, just stop and start the blade a few times. The inertia will probably break things loose. If worse comes to worse, stop the engine and clear it with a broomstick or something. Yeah, it doesn't like to start again once it's warmed up, but deal with it.

For future reference; don't stick your hand in something that works by spinning blades. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you guys? (Wisconsin State Journal)


-Bonus HotD-
"Tennessee Mayor Apologizes For Accusing Obama Of Blocking 'Peanuts' Special."

I wouldn't say "apologizes," though. I'd say "offers lame excuse."

You might remember Arlington, TN Mayor Russell Wiseman, who thought that making a major public policy announcement was less important than airing a Christmas special everyone's seen a bazillion times. You know, the guy who said Obama was a Muslim and that he doesn't love the baby Jesus and that people who don't own property shouldn't be allowed to vote?

Yeah, that guy.

He says the whole thing was a joke. Which is weird, because I'm not seeing any funny in there. You'd think that if you're writing a humor post for your Facebook page, you'd stick a joke or a punchline in there somewhere.

Maybe it's a conceptual thing, where the idea itself is the joke. You know, like, "What if the Mayor of Arlington was an amazingly stupid prick?" (Huffington Post)