« »

Friday, December 17, 2010

News Roundup for 12/17/10

The stripper pole is the backbone of American commerce

-Headline of the Day-
"Newt Gingrich Can't Stop Going To Strip Club For Money."

Newt has a cozy little scam going. It works like this: he sends some business a letter telling them they've been chosen to win an award from his fundraising organization, Americans Solutions for Winning. Then all the business owner has to do is pay $5,000 for the trophy.

What qualifications do the winners of this prestigious award share? They're all in the phonebook, I guess. Seems Newt doesn't do a lot of research to determine who wins this award -- unless by "research," you mean "throwing a dart at a map."

Anyway, last year one of Newt's big leaders in the business world was a Dallas restaurant called The Lodge. Well, not a restaurant really, more like a bar. Actually, more like a nightclub where very nice young ladies dance naked around poles. They probably would've put the ASoW trophy next their "Overall Club of the Year" award from Exotic Dancer Magazine. Newt figured this out eventually, telling The Lodge that they weren't so awesome after all and he wouldn't sell (I mean GIVE! GIVE!) them the award. Lesson learned.

OK, so lesson not learned. This year, the owner of the Lodge was informed that for a mere $1,000-2,000, they could be a member in good standing of ASoW and get a card and everything! The owner, Dawn Rizos, says she's not willing to drop that kind of cash to join an organization that doesn't actually seem to do anything, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want in. She's willing to barter.

According to one report, Rizo sent Gingrich a "lifetime VIP membership card to The Lodge."

Y'still gotta pay for drinks though, Newt. (Wonkette, with video)

Jon Stewart takes on Republicans and the media for non-action on the 9/11 responders' health bill.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Worst Responders
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire Blog</a>The Daily Show on Facebook

Make sure to take the time to watch the interview with first responders about the Zadroga health care bill and what it means to them. So far, exactly one network has bothered to do this and it's Comedy Fucking Central!

Our media is broken. (Comedy Central)

-Bonus HotD-
"Stephen Baldwin Wants To Be 'The George Soros For Jesus' When He’s A Billionaire."

There are two problems here: one, George Soros is Jewish and, two, Stephen Baldwin's struggling to remain a thousandaire. (Mediaite)

Search Archive:

Custom Search