« »

Monday, January 30, 2012

News Roundup for 1/30/12

house burning down
GOP primary race

-Headline of the Day-
"Gingrich memo downplays Florida; looks ahead to Super Tuesday."

Matt Lewis' piece begins, "An internal Gingrich campaign memo obtained by The Daily Caller shows the campaign is planning to continue long after Tuesday’s Florida primary, stating simply: 'this race is just getting started.'"

Now mind you, by "obtained," Lewis probably meant "sent from the Gingrich campaign, delivered as a singing telegram by a stripper, while a skywriter flew overhead writing, 'READ AND PUBLISH ASAP -- AND DON'T SAY IT'S A PRESS RELEASE!'"

Basically, the memo says that the person who wins in Florida will have "less than 10% of the delegates they need to claim the nomination." So who cares about Florida? Chumps, that's who. Newt can totally lose Florida and become the nominee -- in fact, the memo comes just short of saying that was the plan all along.

What follows is a whole bunch of delegate math, which is boring. Suffice it to say, as Team Noodles does, that the remaining primaries "essentially guarantee... that no candidate will secure the nomination anytime soon and the map quickly becomes more favorable for Gingrich."

Super Tuesday is the ticket. And then a couple races after Super T. So, like, March 31. Two months of brutal, mudslinging, bruising, money-burning, debilitating electoral combat and then we'll have a nominee.

I'm sure this calendar just terrifies the White House. (Daily Caller)

-Dark side of the Newt-

Click for full comic

Newt's got a really big melon, is what we're trying to say here. (Bad Report)

-Bonus HotD-
"Mitt Romney Is NOT the 1% … Mitt Romney Is the Top 0.0025%."

Mittens is that guy the rest of the 1% are jealous of. (Wonkette)
Enhanced by Zemanta

Search Archive:

Custom Search