News Roundup for 12/13/11

Hitting a new Lowe

-Headline of the Day-
"Protests growing against Lowe's."

All Lowe's wants to do is sell you a hammer. Maybe some bathroom tiles. If they're lucky, some big saw thing. So it was that the home improvement chain sought what it thought was the path of least resistance when it came to wingnut bigots concerned that a TV shows wasn't portraying American Muslims as terr'isty enough. Turns out TLC's All-American Muslim managed to find a family that wasn't building bombs in their basement and this was the worst thing ever! One guy even suggested they find a family that does engage in terrorism and film that, because committing crimes against America is apparently cool with him so long as it makes Muslims look bad on the teevee.

So all these people got together and decided they needed to complain to the advertisers of the show. And that's when things got stupid. Lowe's, apparently headed by people born without spines, decided that they wouldn't advertise on a show that was controversial. They said they were sad that they'd made "some people very unhappy," but this was the way things were going to be.

But here's the problem with avoiding controversy: you can't. It's pretty much impossible -- especially when the people ginning up the controversy are a bunch of bigoted assholes who hate a show because it doesn't lie about an entire American demographic. In running away from a tiny controversy, they ran headlong into a giant one. That's the sort of brilliant business sense that we've come to expect from corporate America.

Anyhoo, now Lowe's is in trouble with the not-bigot people, which is just about everyone (I know, we've been over this all before, but some people are just tuning in). They've got MoveOn and a Democratic senator on their case, as well as people like me. It's just really, really bad.

So, the lesson here is that if you run a business and a bunch of customers tell you to start hating another bunch of customers, chase them off with a broomstick. Pronto. (Politico)


-An apt analogy-


Click to embiggen

Works for me. (DailyKos)


-Bonus HotD-
"Axelrod Plays The Monkey Butt Card On Newt Gingrich."

David Axelrod: "I told my colleagues yesterday a bit of homespun wisdom I got from an alderman in Chicago some years ago when one of his colleagues wanted to run for higher office and he was really dubious. He said, 'just remember the higher a monkey climbs on a pole, the more you can see his butt.' So, you know, [Newt Gingrich] is very high on the pole right now and we’ll see how people like the view." (Talking Points Memo)

News Roundup for 11/28/11

The only kind of Muslims anti-Muslim nuts like

-Headline of the Day-
"Religious Right Groups Launch Fight Against TLC Reality Show."

You know what the Florida Family Association thinks is terrible? Muslims! They hate them like the dickens. So when The Learning Channel announced they'd be airing a reality TV show called All-American Muslim, FFA freaked out.

See, it turned out that people on the show didn't reflect FFA's stereotypes at all. No one attacks old ladies while yelling "Oodle-oodle-oodle!" There's no Death to America stuff, no one tries to force sharia law on anyone. They don't stone their daughters in the backyard. It's just terrible. It's like they're trying to show that all the things anti-Muslim people believe is crazy horseshit -- which means it's secret terr'ist propaganda!

"The Learning Channel's new show All-American Muslim is propaganda clearly designed to counter legitimate and present-day concerns about many Muslims who are advancing Islamic fundamentalism and Sharia law," says FFA. "The show profiles only Muslims that appear to be ordinary folks while excluding many Islamic believers whose agenda poses a clear and present danger to liberties and traditional values that the majority of Americans cherish."

Maybe that's because the family in the show doesn't know any people like that -- which would make sense, right? I mean, just because I'm a white guy doesn't mean I have white power types coming over to my house. Seems to me this is the same sort of deal.

Anyway, FFA aren't the only crazies up in arms about the show. Anti-Muslim activist Robert Spencer -- who's just awful, BTW -- suggested what he considers a more accurate idea for a reality show. TLC should go find some guy who starts off OK and then ends up "participating in jihad activity" -- because it's totally cool to let some guy plan and carry out terrorism for a TV show, as long as that makes Muslims look bad.

So, for the record, the anti-Muslim nutjobs have now gone completely around the bend -- Muslims who are terrorists are good, while Muslims who aren't terrorists are bad.

There really is no word to adequately describe the clownishness. (Right Wing Watch)


-Thanksgiving leftovers with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, one of the cool things about taking a week off of blogging is that you get an extra cartoon from Mark Fiore the week you come back. Yay!

Today, Uncle Mark (who's a famous Howitzer Prize-winning cartoonist) will shows us all how to draw turkeys!


Click for animation

Wow, and I thought I was sick of turkey before... (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"Union Leader Declined To Endorse Romney Because He ‘Represents The One Percent.’"

So instead, the New Hampshire paper endorsed Newt Gingrich.

Seems like kind of a lateral move to me. (ThinkProgress)

News Roundup for 11/14/11

Photo of the most prominent Muslim Herman Cain knows

-Headline of the Day-
"Cain: Majority of US Muslims share extremist views."

Rapidly plummeting in the polls, Herman Cain has decided to go back to what was working for him before this whole frontrunner/human scandal thing happened to him -- hating Muslims.

At a fun "pizza party" interview with GQ, the Hermanator took off his party hat and set aside his balloon for a moment, to make a serious point. "I have had one very well-known Muslim voice say to me directly that a majority of Muslims share the extremist views," Cain said.

Asked who the "very well-known Muslim voice" was voice was, Cain refused to answer.
None of your business, that's who. Herman would only repeat that it was a "a very prominent voice in the Muslim community." And, by "Muslim community," I think Herman Cain might mean his own head. Asked if he believed said unnamed voice, Herman said he did he did he really really did.

"Yes, because of the respect that I have for this individual," Herman said. "Because when he told me this, he said he wouldn't want to be quoted or identified as having said that."

Would this be the same Herman Cain who went on a jihad against Politico for using then-anonymous sources to "smear" him? Yes it would. And now here he is, using an anonymous (and likely made-up) Muslim to smear the majority of Muslims.

Once again we see a hard and fast rule of Republican politics; it's only OK when a Republican does it. (The Hill)


-Think Rick Perry "and the third one is..." jokes are played out?-


Click for full comic

How wrong you are. (GoComics)


-Bonus HotD-
"Confirmed Serial Adulterer Passes Alleged Serial Harasser in GOP Race."

The "family values" party. (Crooks and Liars)

News Roundup for 3/21/11

Not atypical

-Headline of the day-
"How Dumb Are We?"

Pretty darn dumb. Some of us, anyway. See Newsweek asked a bunch of people questions from the US Citizenship test -- you know, the quiz that immigrants have to take to become citizens. Turns out that, at this point in time, 38% of natural born citizens wouldn't qualify for citizenship if they had to apply for it.

According to the report, "29 percent couldn't name the vice president. Seventy-three percent couldn't correctly say why we fought the Cold War. Forty-four percent were unable to define the Bill of Rights. And 6 percent couldn't even circle Independence Day on a calendar."

And the thing is, the test isn't really all that hard. In order to pass, you only need to answer six questions correctly -- out of one hundred. That's right, you only need to score 6% and 38% couldn't even do that.

Which goes a long way toward explaining what's wrong with our political landscape these days; people who don't know shit have opinions. The report uses our current budget debate as an example, pointing out that a "2010 World Public Opinion survey found that Americans want to tackle deficits by cutting foreign aid from what they believe is the current level (27 percent of the budget) to a more prudent 13 percent. The real number is under 1 percent. A Jan. 25 CNN poll, meanwhile, discovered that even though 71 percent of voters want smaller government, vast majorities oppose cuts to Medicare (81 percent), Social Security (78 percent), and Medicaid (70 percent). Instead, they prefer to slash waste -- a category that, in their fantasy world, seems to include 50 percent of spending, according to a 2009 Gallup poll."

And people wonder how outfits like Fox News can pull the wool over people's eyes so often. The wool's already there, all they do is style it. (Newsweek)


-Trying hard to be offended-
If there's one thing I know about Michelle Malkin, it's that if there's any way to become offended by something, she'll be offended by it. It's like her hobby.

So imagine how outraged Shelly got when she learned that NPR's comedy quiz Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me deeply insulted her family and her heritage. During a regular segment, contestants are given several news stories -- only one of which is true -- and are then asked which one was real. Unfortunately, the Malkin family made an appearance:

Conservative commentator and Fox News contributor Michelle Malkin has expressed her fear that there are Muslims amongst us who are hiding their true identity. The most prominent, she claims, being Barack Obama. However, when she set out to find proof of these undercover Muslims, she found more than she bargained for.
It turns out that there are, indeed, some Muslims hiding their identity to fly under the radar. The most pertinent one for Malkin being her own grandfather.

Yes, Grandpa Malkin, who is from the Philippines but lives with Michelle's parents, had not told the family about his religion for fear of being ostracized and thrown out. "Do you know how hard it is to pray five times a day when your family doesn't know?"

"I had to excuse myself to the bathroom every time I wanted to pray."

"And the ham dinners, don't get me started on the ham dinners."

Malkin was in shock when her grandfather revealed his true identity to her. He explained that he had been closeted Muslim for too long and it was time for him to live his life and be happy with himself. Malkin used the revelation to confirm her argument that Muslims are taking over. First they wanted the youth, and now they’re going after my grandfather? My 90-year-old grandfather? This is sick.

Needless to say, this is the worst thing ever! And it doesn't help that the guy saying all of the lies is a Muslim comedian!

She then goes on to fact-check the piece -- which was revealed later in the show to be untrue anyway -- because NPR is liberal and is trying to get people to think she's a Muslim!

A comedy bit which admits to being untrue must not be allowed to sully Shelly's reputation like that. It simply must be answered.

Preferably, with copious amounts of completely unwarranted outrage. The perpetually offended and infinitely aggrieved teabagging masses who read her blog expect no less. (Michelle Malkin)


-Bonus HotD-
"Scott Walker Touts His Union-Busting Agenda As 'Progressive'."

I guess that makes him a commie then. All you wingnuts have to stop loving him now.

Sorry, those are the rules. I don't make them up. (ThinkProgress)

Stories to Watch: 3/9/11

Crap. Snow again. Wet, sloppy, weighs-a-ton snow. Don't even talk to me about spring. Now here's the news...


RIP David Broder.


The day before Rep. Peter King's McCarthyite "Are you now or have you ever been Muslim" hearings, we're reminded that Islamic extremists don't have the market cornered on domestic terrorism.


A government shutdown and Republican spending cuts are opposed by a majority of Americans. People want jobs. This shouldn't surprise anyone -- but it seems to come as a surprise to Republicans. Want to cut something? Cut defense spending. That's what we want.


On the bright side, there are more billionaires than ever. All that sweet, sweet prosperity should start trickling down any decade now. You just wait and see!


Michele Bachmann engages in her favorite hobby: being full of shit.


The Wisconsin GOP claims the Obama administration is behind recall efforts against Republican state senators. But they get called out on it by -- Megyn Kelly and Fox News? Can that be right? Man, when even Fox won't buy your crap, you're sunk.


The tea party finally finds some union violence! Except, without all the violence. Outrage! Outrage!


Finally, GOP maneuvering to pass Gov. Walker's union-busting bill returns to the tactic that's characterized the party's efforts throughout -- dirty tricks.

Stories to Watch: 3/8/11

Not much going on here. March is the messiest month -- mud is everywhere. And our governor's a douche. Now here's the news...


For the first time, a General Society Survey poll finds that more Americans support same-sex marriage than oppose it. Still no majority though: 46%-40%. Still, even if everyone still on the fence went anti, the pros would still be ahead.


Southern Poverty Law Center's Mark Potok takes on Rep. Peter King's "let's all be afraid of the Muslims" hearings. Shorter version: you want hate-filled anti-American radicals calling for (and committing) violence? Look at the American right.


James O'Keefe's ambush shop is at it again. This time, he's "busted" someone at NPR hating on conservatives. LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS!! The problem: the guy they conned wasn't a journalist, he was a fundraiser -- and he thought he was talking to a potential donor. His views have zero influence on the editorial content. And, when they start saying they represent the Muslim Bortherhood (what O'Keefe had hoped to bust them on), he turned down their money. Otherwise, writes Dave Weigel, "His pandering to the group is actually sort of masterful."

A fundraiser kissing ass? Imagine my shock. Next you'll tell me the guy at the used car lot was only being nice to me because he wanted to unload that rusty '71 Impala.


The move to recall Republican state senators in Wisconsin is coming along nicely. "If these new numbers the Wisconsin Democratic Party shares with me are accurate," writes Greg Sargent, "it's already exceeding expectations in a big way."


Finally, is even Scott Walker beginning to crack?