Colbert: GOP 'Kind of asking' to be called 'Team Rape'

comedycentral:

Do I even need to tell you to click the gif and watch Stephen Colbert’s brilliant coverage of the latest in a long line of recent GOP rape comments? I do? Okay, click it, dummy!

Stories to Watch: 2/9/12

You know what's stupid? When you call your ISP about an internet outage after hours and the phone tree robot refers you to their website. Now here's the news...


Are we on the verge of developing an effective treatment for Alzheimer's?


The US approves its first nuclear plant in decades. This "despite objections from the country’s top regulator that safety issues raised by last year’s Fukushima meltdown were not fully addressed." So that sounds like a great and totally responsible idea. What's the worst that could happen?


Wingnut darling and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a commie.


Federal and state governments accept a $25 billion settlement from big banks over mortgage and foreclosure fraud. Ezra Klein has a collection of reactions to the news. My take, if you don't break up the big banks and send con men to prison, this is just going to happen all over again eventually.


Gutless Democrats allow themselves to be played by Republicans. What else is new?


No Child Left Behind begins to wither on the vine. And none too soon. Cutting funding to schools that are struggling? It was a bass-ackward, stupid idea from day one.


The GOP vs. the Voting Rights Act of 1965. I'm telling you, they're gunning for democracy itself.


Finally, Nancy Pelosi calls on Americans to rise up against Stephen Colbert.

Related articles

• APNewsBreak: Official: 10 states get ed waiver (sfgate.com)
• Is Voting Rights Act target of redistricting case? (mysanantonio.com)
• 5 banks in $26B settlement with feds over abuses (cbsnews.com)
• Mortgage settlement? Try bank Bailout II (americablog.com)

News Roundup for 1/31/12

Unstoppable

-Headline of the Day-
"Stephen Colbert’s FEC report: Big money!"

Stephen Colbert's Super PAC is super-loaded. According to the report, "Between July 1 and Dec. 31, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow collected more than $825,400, ending the year with nearly $674,000 cash on hand, according to disclosures filed over night with the Federal Election Commission." To date, treasurer Shauna Polk says the super PAC has raised $1,023,121 total.

"Stephen Colbert, President of ABTT, has asked that I quote him as saying, 'Yeah! How you like me now, F.E.C? I’m rolling seven digits deep! I got 99 problems but a non-connected independent-expenditure only committee ain’t one!'" Polk wrote in a statement, adding, "I would like it noted for the record that I advised Mr. Colbert against including that quote."

So how's that measure up against other celebrity Super PACs? Let's look, shall we?

Sarah Palin’s political action committee raised $756,000 in the second half of last year – a steep drop off from the first half, when she as flirting with a presidential bid.

Palin’s relatively meager second half haul came despite heavy spending on fundraising and a bus tour that fanned speculation she might seek the GOP presidential nomination.

Colbert's PAC is (mostly) a joke and he's clobbering Sarah Palin in fundraising.

So, yeah... (Politico)


-Noodles v. Mittens-



It may be unending, but it's still fun to watch. (Washington Post)


-Bonus HotD-
"Robocall of the Year."

Mitt Romney forced holocaust survivors to eat pork chops!

This message brought to you by Newt's robot. (Political Animal)

Stories to Watch: 1/10/12

Big doin's in New Hampshire tonight, so I'll keep this short. I probably don't have your attention. Now here's the news...


Polling shows that Stephen Colbert would beat Jon Huntsman in South Carolina.


Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum all vow to bravely face America's most pressing crisis -- that of nekkid ladies on those internets.


New Hampshire voters will get a chance to vote for Herman Cain and "Dick" Perry tonight. I'm hoping Dick gets more votes that Rick, because that'd be too hilarious.


Ron Paul thinks Mitt Romney's record of slash-and-burn vulture capitalism with Bain is great.


The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists bumps their "Doomsday Clock" up to five minutes to midnight.


Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett (not to be confused with the other space cadet) wants to kick a bunch of people off food stamps -- mostly because he's a Republican and an awful excuse for a human being.


SOPA-backers are seeing their reelection prospects get a bit tougher.


Finally, a short film on Mitt Romney and Bain Capital -- financed by Gingrich-backers -- sounds absolutely brutal.

Related articles

• What Mitt Romney did at Bain (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
• Will Mitt Romney's Record at Bain Capital Be His Downfall? (usnews.com)
• New Hampshire Primary Election 2012: Battered Mitt Romney Stumbles Toward Win (huffingtonpost.com)
• Romney's Bain blowback (money.cnn.com)

News Roundup for 6/30/11

"It's almost impossible to break campaign finance laws you say?
Challenge accepted"

-Headline of the Day-
"Johnson $10M Payday Could Raise Red Flags For IRS."

When Ron Johnson spent $9 million to win Russ Feingold's senate seat, people saw it as evidence that wealthy frootloops could just buy senate seats with self-funded campaigns. Thank God that's not true. It turns out that Johnson's plastics company, Pacur, bought the seat for him. And Ron came out $1 million ahead after all the smoke had cleared.

According to the report, Ron "received a $10 million payment in deferred compensation from his former plastics company, Pacur, weeks after his $9 million self-financed 2010 campaign for Senate came to an end." Not surprisingly, this is bad. Even with the Citizens United ruling, corporations still can't give corporate money directly to political candidates.

So Johnson found a way to break an election law in an era when there are virtually no election laws.

What an innovator. (Talking Points Memo)


-Cartoon Time with Mark Fiore-
Hey kids, you know how your parents don't like those violent video games? Now you can tell them to shut up and that the Supreme Court agrees with you! Yay!


Click for animation

Remember kids, boobs = bad and 7.62mm minigun = good! (MarkFiore.com)


-Bonus HotD-
"Outside FEC, Stephen Colbert Says His 'Super PAC' Is No Joke."

Still, check out the video of his announcement for the yuks anyway. (Talking Points Memo, with video)

Stories to Watch: 3/31/11

If you're up late and looking for something on the teevee, you might switch over to Cartoon Network's Adult Swim to watch The Room -- which is widely considered to be one of the worst movies ever made. A lot of people think it's campy fun, but I just think it's awful -- and boring. I never have seen the whole thing. Ought to put you right to sleep. Cinematic crime begins at 12:30 eastern -- i.e., first thing in the morning on April Fools Day. Now here's the news...


A bunch of Tea Party faves in congress are taking the big bucks in subsidies from Uncle Sam. Hypocritical? Yes. Surprising? No. Everyone always defines a "government handout" as "something someone else gets."


A NYT piece spells out what everyone already knows -- 'baggers are in bed with big business. The piece calls this an "odd alliance." It's like discovering a puppet has a hand inside it and declaring that "odd."


"Uterus" is a dirty word in Florida.


An administrator for USAID -- "the primary agency in the government responsible for dispensing humanitarian aid and assisting global development efforts" -- estimates that GOP budget cuts will lead to the deaths of 70,000 kids globally. The GOP loves the "unborn," but once you're born, you're on your own.


Oh, and speaking of killing people, the GOP wants to cut $1 trillion from Medicaid.


I'm sorry, but there is no fucking way 5,000 illegal aliens participated in Colorado's 2010 elections. I don't care what some Republican's "study" shows. Seriously, there is no way that figure will stand up to scrutiny. I laughed out loud when I saw the headline.


Finally, Stephen Colbert's political action committee -- ColbertPAC -- is official. Other than making crazy-awesome videos, though, it's unclear what -- if anything -- he'll do with it. I'm on the mailing list so, if something comes up, I'll let you know.

News Roundup for 2/25/11

Local criminal

-Headline of the day-
"Ex-AG sees violations by Walker in stunt call."

Remember that phone call that Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker took a little while back? You know, the one where he thought his boss was calling him? Yeah, that one. Turns out that Scooter may have confessed to breaking a law or three while trying to convince "David Koch" that he was being really successful in doing away with unions and please god pleasepleaseplease don't shut off the money tap to his campaign coffers.

Former Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager reviewed the recording -- like everyone else under the sun -- and concluded that Walker's probably a tad bit outside the law. "There clearly are potential ethics violations, and there are potential election law violations and there are a lot of what look to me like labor law violations," she said in an interview. "I think that the ethics violations are something the (state) Government Accountability Board should look into because they are considerable. He is on tape talking with someone who he thinks is the funder of an independent political action committee to purchase advertising to benefit Republican legislators who are nervous about taking votes on legislation he sees as critical to his political success... One of the things I find most problematic in all of this is the governor's casual talk about using outside troublemakers to stir up trouble on the streets, and the fact that he only dismissed the idea because it might cause a political problem for him."

Part of the problem with the "troublemakers" thing is that, even if he finally decided against it, he says "we" thought about it. Discussing how to commit a crime is conspiracy to commit that crime -- even if you eventually decide not to. It just has to be a serious consideration, even if it's just one of many options.

"For a governor even to consider a strategy that could unnecessarily threaten the safety of peaceful demonstrators -- which the governor acknowledged he did -- is something that simply amazes me," Peg says.

So, are we going to see Scooter behind bars soon? We've got a Republican Governor, a Republican Assembly, a Republican Senate, and a Republican Attorney General.

What do you think? (Capital Times)


-Guy Colbert-
Last night, Stephen Colbert interviewed journalist and constitutional lawyer Glenn Greenwald on the story of Wikileaks, Anonymous, HBGary, the Obama administration, Bank of America, and Greenwald himself. It's this whole big, complicated thing, which Colbert did a great job of condensing here:

So, Colbert goes on from this to interview Greenwald. A redditor watched the interview and noticed a strange flash on Colbert's face for a moment, so a look at a slowed down clip of the flash was in order. This was what further investigation revealed:



That's a Guy Fawkes mask, a symbol of Anonymous and a reference to the movie V for Vendetta. Colbert is clearly showing support for Anon.

Or maybe he just doesn't want his World of Warcraft character messed with. (Washington Post)


-Bonus HotD-
"Witnesses: Republican Laughed When Asked 'Who's Gonna Shoot Obama?'"

Georgia Rep. Paul Broun is a douche. Proven fact. (Talking Points Memo)

News Roundup for 2/16/11

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker

-Headline of the day-
"Union Protests Continue, Teachers Call In Sick Opposing WI Gov's Proposals."

Wisconsin's Scott Walker continues his quest to become America's worst governor as protesters basically invade the Capitol building in protest of his plan to dismantle most public employee unions. Schools are shutting down, traffic to the capitol square is nonexistent and Walker's support in the state is dropping like a stone.

So Scott's solution? Reiterate his threat to call out the National Guard, who -- at this point -- would probably grab signs and join in the marching.

Seeing his young governorship crumbling around his ears, Walker went all Baghdad Bob, claiming the protests numbering in the tens of thousands weren't significant, because there are "about 5.5 million people in the state." So I guess if you aren't actually out there with the firefighters, the teachers, the university employees, and the public works guys, you're totally, 100% behind Scott Walker.

You know, it's that sort of finger-on-the-pulse-of-the-people thinking that got Gov. Walker where he is today -- hiding under his desk, drinking heavily, and wishing everyone would just go away. (Talking Points Memo)


-2nd amendment remedy-
Stephen Colbert breaks down a new bill being proposed by Arizona state senator and Second Amendment hero Ron Gould.

So, to sum up, if you're a really, really stupid person and you hurt someone with a gun, you'd be golden. (Comedy Central)


-Bonus HotD-
"Barack Obama plays hardball with veto threat."

And so the Newt-Gringrichification of John Boehner begins... (Politico)

News Roundup for 1/21/11

Is her name really Michelle Bachmann?

-Headline of the day-
"PolitiFact: Bachmann’s claims ‘false’ more often than any other politician."

Rep. Michelle Bachmann lives in a different world from the rest of us. And it's costing her, because that world doesn't look anything like the world we live in. See, Shelly has some weird hope that she stands a chance in hell of becoming president, so she took a trip to Iowa, to seed the fertile ground in advance of the caucuses.

"Only a day before the congresswoman's Friday visit to Iowa," the report tells us, "the Pulitzer Prize-winning PolitiFact noted that she had made false statements more often than any public official."

"We have checked her 13 times, and seven of her claims to be false and six have been found to be ridiculously false," PolitiFact editor Bill Adair told Minnesota Public Radio. Do the math. It turns out that Shelly tells the truth... Let's see... 13-7-6=never. A trip through PolitiFact's file on Bachmann confirms my math. Rep. Michelle Bachmann, representative from the great state of Minnesota, is not on the record as ever having said anything true.

So, if she says she has a chance of ever being president, well... you know. (Raw Story)


-Rush Limbaugh, polyglot-
Stephen Colbert translates Rush Limbaugh's racist rant.

"My favorite donut is every donut."

Stay classy, Rush. (Crooks and Liars)


-Bonus HotD-
"Historian: Thomas Jefferson supported `government run health care'."

That's right, Thomas Jefferson was a liberal commie!!! (Plum Line)